Is it normal to miss your booty call?
Dude just fell down the stars trying to leave class early, the prof just looks down at him and says"thats what you get"
walking through the french quarter. a homeless guy just offered me a pigeon. gotta love new orleans.
dont worry about it. i always have emergency bong water with me
They're calling for 20 inches of snow but I'll have a dirtbike for emergency trips to the liquor store. Even if I crash it won't hurt.
I should probably go to bed before I start to care about why I started drinking in the first place.
Sounds good. I will just get tanked here and wear this batman mask.
I just want to emotionally destroy him but also find out how big his dick is so this is perfect
I have bad memories with every alcohol but we manage to work through the problems for the good of the relationship
I made out with a guy dressed as the pdx airport carpet.
Portlandia didn't prepare you for that?
I'm sitting in my car avoiding a customer. Apparently the new year hasn't affected my attitude nor work ethic
For real his Facebook page says he studied "sexual arts" at some random college I've never heard of. You've been warned.
I HAD SEX WITH COLBY AND HIS FIVE YEAR PLAN IS TO STEAL A REALLY EXPENSIVE PAINTING AND ASKED ME IF ID BE INTO HELPING HIM AND I WOKE UP IN HIS BED TO A WOMANS TUBE TOP NEXT TO ME
That's why we have robots to masturbate for us
Memeber that time you got detained in Poland. We don’t talk about that enough
Randomize