Any toy can be an adult toy. Location, location, location.
Apparently I called 911 everytime Sean Kingston told me to
i looked up and she was looking over the stall watching me pee and told me to unlock the door. that dedicated to sucking my dick.
He leaned over in the middle of the movie and said "My dick's name is Juan". WHO DOES THAT?
We need a bunch of roses, some chocolate, 2 cops, a mariachi band, and a thermometer
don't care how drunk i am. my dick was like "nope, not doing it, you can't make me and i was like oh yes i can"
No it'll be my boobs and the luge part will be from my nipples. Everyone will be sucking beer from my perfectly sculpted and partially melted tits.
i need to stop establishing animals as safe words. Giraffe and Penguin are really awkward words to say during sex
So I bet a guy he could drink two irish car bombs faster than me and I lost. now he gets to name our first son. sory.
You told her you double majored in Geology and Telekinesis. When has that line ever worked for you?
Happy 4th. Did you guys get your syphilis thing taken care of?
We have to do it Saturday and get a thirty. If i remember correctly it takes me 12 beers to become a wizard
I wonder what dick looks like without astigmatism?
He told me he was cooking me a special dinner tonight. His "five star meal" was popcorn in champagne glasses, and chic fil a sauce in jello shot containers to dip the popcorn in. He still tries to convince me he doesn't smoke weed anymore.
What is it in my brain that makes me look at a penis and think "that belongs in my mouth"?
Randomize
