Considering the face that your still in jail Im gunna go with no.
My drunk dialing habit needs to go. My drunk habit can stay though.
i got us presents. or arrested. we shall see!
I just won Halloween Walk of Shame Bingo!
When health care reform is passed, I'm throwing a kegger
You are the reason we need health care reform
as it turns out, there is no "i was in the pool" excuse for adderall-induced shrinkage.
why does CNN give a flying $@*# about the royal baby so, so much?
i hope they name him Joffrey
I'd probably lick every tooth in Carly Rae Jepson's fucking mouth.
Teen Choice Awards are on if your wondering.
I'm gonna send you a dick pic now just so your uncomfortable at work
After we got done he told me to hold his penis because it helps him fall asleep
Oh I see how it is...you can snap chat the world your balls but I wear dinosaur feetie pajamas and I'm the "weird one"
You're never the same once you're dry humped on the frat house floor
Just realized I chose a bacon cheeseburger over sex last night
My phone autocorrected "shhhhh" to "AHHHHHHHHH" and I feel like that says a lot about my life
Puked in the trash can. Took a bite of someone's breadstick and kept dancing and drinking
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