Cant decide who was more of a mess the morning after... me when i passed out in the bathroom stall or you when you sprayed yourself down with hairspray thinking it was sunblock
I don't want to talk about it but I will say, that was the best two headed $68 blowjob. Ever.
He said he had bite marks on his back... Turns out he had to throw me over his shoulder, and I was really reluctant.
We're at that point in our relationship where sweatpants sex has become acceptable...
I have a plus one for the Blackout Express, should I pen in your name?
The more I stare at her and block out what she's actually saying with thoughts of what she could be saying, the more interested I become
There was a photo of his face glued to a lifesize Kim Kardashian cutout. By the end of the night he was doing shots out of medicine cups and making everybody hug it goodbye.
In need of cum proof mascara. Don't judge me.
Dude. I knoww what ur thinking. Yes, your hand hurts. It's because you fell through a window. If and when you wake up, go to the hospital.
He's probably hung over. I sure as hell am. I want to pop out my eyeballs with a fork and soak them in cold water
You wanna know how bad I feel? I couldn't get out of bed to get the remote, so I just downloaded the comcast app on my phone so I could change the channels
Also, I found your gauge.
I found it under my pillow like a gift from the Sex Fairy.
Nope. Turns put my desperate group message for sex didn't work out.
Well you sent it to two guys who were roommates.
They could have rock paper scissored for it. My vagina = the prize.
I'm on the couch watching HGTV googling giant boob Halloween costumes so life is swell
What'd I miss?
Erotic hypnosis and studded dog collars.
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