Why did you send me a picture of a dick?
It was an accident sry. Not mine tho.
I had total buyers remorse when i finally got him naked. All that effort for a dude that hairy? Come on.
I'm so fucking pissed that I wasted my shooting star wish on him and his little penis.
So I was throwing up in this fancy toilet at a party last night, when he decided it would be funny to flush it. It was a beday. I had to walk out with toilet water and regurgitated rumpleminze all over my face and shirt.
You would get kicked out of the study lounge for being drunk the monday of finals week
You are the patron saint of my drinking problem.
I woke up with my keys safelty pinned to my thong. It's gonna be a great day.
so i finally decided to ask her out. she started mumbling, then she puked on me. i think i'll try again when she's sober
She kept looking at me and saying "you are the scary high".
He ate me out while I was wearing a tiara.... I think I could get used to this
Mr. Clingalot just ran from our apartment. What the hell?
I started to cry afterward and mumble random things. Examples: "God, please don't make me be so gay anymore" and "my mom is going to be so proud of me for fucking a dude this time." It was that or let him stay the night and cuddle. I mean, fuck that horrible shit I'm a girl that needs her space.
You told the cop you where the star of the Track team and tried to run away. So yeah, i'm not surprised.
Try eating a sub blackout with your uncle. It's not easy ok
I just sent a dick pic to a number on Craigslist, this may be my new low
I don't know..He walked out of your room with a kraft single..and blood on his shirt...He really wanted cheese.
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