ya ever know whats down there. always send some fingers in first to scout the situation. fingers are not used for pleasure. they're used for covert missions.
Just tried to fight the dj at cowboys because he would'nt play freebird. Pick me up now.
He kept making me pretend I was his personal trainer. When I swallowed his cum he made me pretend I was drinking a protein shake. Thats actually what it tasted like.
he might be the rich husband I pretend to love for the rest of my life!!!!
She had another shot and asked if I wanted to taste her tongue ring. Then I helped her pee.
Hickies on top of my hickies. I need a leash and/or a positive female role model
Just made a PowerPoint called "Reasons Why You Should Fuck Me" at his request. The sad thing is we've had sex before...
His 21st birthday is in the middle of shark week, it's meant to be.
You know being hammered seven days in a row can do serious damage to your liver.
Text me on Monday and make sure I'm still alive
we passed out in our seats at the game for about 3innings. I guess they showed it on the big screen. nap n rally!
STDs are my biggest fear, besides whales. They're so fucking big.
I did my walk of shame through a safeway at 8am to get YOUR hangover bagels. You're welcome asshole
I can hear the pillow talk now, "how many condoms did you bring? Good, put them all on,"
Santa tracker drinking game, you in or what?
enjoying your night?
do dogs like to salsa?
I dont know if that answers my question or not
Met this british guy. Played pool. Broke into an apartment and had sex
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