found out what b.m.t stands for.
what did you think?
bread, meat, tomatoes, but then i realized that could be practically any sub.
I just had sex in a moon bounce. It is all down hill from here.
Just had a serious bathroom emergency at walmart a and it appears that i ate a taco bell burrito wrapper last night
I know it should be off bounds, but can this be the chick we all sleep with at some point? I can write it off as drunken mistake, you all just have to come up with equally good excuses
you literally pushed me forward in the seat so you could puke behind my back without the cabbie noticing..
Thursday nights need to stop happening to me.
Sorry the STD update turned into an attempt at a bootycall, but at least we both know we're clean now
you called me at 4 in the morning and invited me over for pasta and a late night viewing of titanic.
So the crazy cock blocking bitch sent her a picture of her boobs using MY phone and said: he's busy at the moment
Every time I there's a break up, I'm left with an animal. That's it. No more mutual pets.
Let's just not urinate on things that don't need to be urinated on
I have 39 hot sauces from Chipotle
It's like earning obesity badges
just remember the most important rule of taking psychedelics: monsters can't get through blankets
Successful first night. Lost my phone. Front desk found it. Earthquake in wine country. Didn't feel it.
You're even getting laid in my dreams, god I'm a good wingman
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