You know your from las vegas when the girl on the stage in the strip club was in my US gov class senior year
whatever it's my dick and i'll put it wherever i want
I mean we've tried to get high on nutmeg, we clearly dont know the definition of "too far"
this kid woke up on our hotel floor and doesnt know how he got here
on my way back.. me and that kid will be great friends
She climbed through the window and into my bed. Not even sure who she is. Was thinking she might be a friend of yours?
There's a mouse. In the house. By the cans. With some pans. Release the cat. To eat his hat. Sorry about the mess. Of my breakfest.
No but seriously, there's a fucking mouse in the house by the beer cans
I don't think she can come out, she went too hard in the Intro to Theater Drinking Game at 2:30
I am officially now FB friends with my arresting officer.
I'm surprised they let us keep partying at that hotel bar, that's like the 3rd time I've had to try blocking the view of him peeing off the balcony. I earn my free drinks.
he just kept repeating "those were some pretty nipple-y tits" over and over the rest of the night
Stop touching yourself.
Wtf!?!?!?! Did you install a camera???
I made an executive decision to rename my Resume file to something other than MONEYMONEYMONEY.
Woke up, bank account is empty. Sock is still full of blood. Nothing in my pockets but a wireless mic and jenga pieces.
She was drunk at Red Robin. She asked for more fries and then shoved them in her purse while saying "Come on bitches, you're coming with me" to them.
Quick question. If you break the bathroom sink off the wall from fucking on it, can you claim it on your homeowner's insurance as a 'natural disaster'?
Randomize
