Don't make out with my wife yet
im officially scared..,i finally realized who my boyfriend reminds me of! spencer pratt
Hotel room at 3 am. She's 42. Stockings and heels. All because I opened with a joke about cougar hunting. We'll high-five later.
He's 11. You dont draw dicks on 11 year olds, i dont care if he ate your lasagna
we went to get a refill in his room and ended up having sex and passing out. then he woke me up with sex and gave me a beer for breakfast. i never want this to end
Did you get your crutches off the street sign?
My neighbor Chris is here. I am warning you, he is wearing a kilt I just saw his balls. Be incredibly careful that you don't see what I did.
It was great. They teamed up to hit on these two frat boys all night, until the frat boys started making out with each other. The looks on their faces...
I sobered up and saw I was with the fat one and you had left laughing with the hot one. You're a terrible wingman, but an excellent manipulator
You showed your tits for hundreds of beads but magically became shy when there was food on the line
I mean it was fine and all but I just don't understand why a man would need all that Simon Cowell paraphanelia
Was the guy in the cowboy hat kinda hot or have I just not had sex in a really long time?
Stop confusing me with every girl you know that doesn't like sex.
I don't need inspirational quotes. If I'm going to be motivated, it will be by anger and spite.
So I figured it out. There's two types of shitters. Moaners and grunters. And on occasion there's a third. It's the ill fabled grunt moaner.
Randomize
