The professor just announced to the class that I talked to him in the bar on my birthday.
they said he just opened the front of his shirt and threw up alll over himself
That's what happens when you park you car under a perfectly good balchony I can puke off of
Wash that dress asap. You laid down on the kitchen floor and tried to sweep the floor with your body.
By the third Id pass back i figured the bouncer had fucked one of us.
Throwing up so forcefully that toilet water hits you in the face is not what the Pilgrims and Indians had in mind for this holiday
Hate to say it and even though I definitely have a biased opinion but I'm surprised your not, sleeping with anyone else. Good personality, charisma and amazing in the sack.
Feel free to use me as a reference.
Someone is in my phone as "fireball girl" and keeps texting me. How do I go about finding out who it is?
Just ran into a client at a sex shop. The meeting tomorrow is going to be really awkward as we both try not to picture each other using vibrators or role play costumes.
All I see when I think of you are dancing penis angels around your head.
You got me 4 pizzas and i just saw this. I'm too drunk for this shit. I just yelled "4 pizzas holy shit!" At the pizza dude
I might as well walk around wearing a sandwich board and accept the fact that I'm dying single.
You lost me at unexpected butt stuff. Everything else I would probably do.
"fuck it, let's do moonshine" shouldn't be in ANYONE'S vocabulary.
only i would get cock blocked by a cop
Randomize
