I see my mary-anne walkin' awa-y-y! Bow Nahw now new, ne ne ne ne ne, ne ne nehw, ne ne new new Nah dan ah bwawn-now, ba bwan'll buh dada bwiddly doo.
That was supposed to be me air guitaring the solo from More than A Feeling
i want you now
you need to stop dating girls with the same name as your mother...or stop drinking so much...I don't want to see this
If last night was a website it would be called poordecisions.com OR uncircumcisedspanishweiner.org
I would like to remind you that Mike's hard lemonade only goes good with an extra light cigarette and seminal fluid.
I have an asthmatic alcoholic for a roommate. That can't be safe.
I made two strippers play rock paper scissors to see who would give me a lap dance last night
I just saw a girl on crutches doing a walk of shame. She is either super dedicated, or her night didn't go as planned.
Also, I've found a new way to get drunk at work for free. Everytime I make a bushwhacker and there's extra... I put it in a cup. Its the Never ending drink.
My teacher just let our class out 30 minutes early, its a 50 minute class. He said the only thing we had to do was get fucked up tonight and have stories about it on Monday.
what's the proper way to say, "I'm sorry for puking on you and your bed mid hook up then going downstairs and fucking your roommate because you locked me out of your room completely naked...?"
I was hammered helping a pregnant woman at the gas station name her unborn child. We had to try everything with two different last names because she was waiting on the results of her paternity test.
You attract beautiful men with jobs. I attract ONE WITH A SOUL PATCH.
it was a sexy soul patch.
We had sex last night...... This "Friends" thing is going well.
I can't find my keys and there's a hotdog in my purse.
No, this year you're all getting coupons for things like "no yelling because you had sex in my apartment" or "the last beer."
Randomize
