dats a huuuuuge bitch!
who is this????
I cant believe you went over there and fucked her last night after everything you said
she invited me over to play the wii, it's not like i intended to
You KNEW her power was out...
I told you I would drunk text you sometime........its that time.
there's got to be a less slutty way to tell him the baby isn't his
my professor just said "the power of the situation"
drink
you walked into the kitchen holding the skyy bottle and asked us "how do i warm this?"
4 random people called me telling me they found him sleeping in the fetal postion on a driveway 45 minutes after we lost him
Hey.. Here's a thought for the evening. There's only two more sleeps until I fuck you so hard my back teeth will convulse.. Here's too Tuesday! Woohooooo
I got carried to one bar. Got a piggy back ride to the next bar. I was just testing our drinking team for st pattys day to make sure they are able to handle me more drunk than that.
She refuses to believe she pulled down her pants and spanked her ass in front of us
Just had to hide the fact that I'm not wearing underwear from my 7 year old niece.
2 girls slept in my bed with me. 3 more girls slept on a mattress on my floor. The furthest I got was cuddling. Here's my man card.
never stay at a party until 5am. even if it's because of daylight savings. we ended up having to watch porn with the host's dad...
Why can't you just be normal and get dick pics from your exes like everyone else?
I don't want them thinking I'm like, "Mm, yeah, kitchenware in my ass please."
Randomize
