I think we should boobie trap our beer this time using duct tape, rubber bands, seran wrap, and urine. Trust me I have a plan and it will work.
Dude, no matter how drunk you are, it's not okay to hug every other guy at a strip club. Mainly because boners are far too common.
dude she's married.
so? a ring don't cover no holes.
she said she's never had and orgasm AND she's a cubs fan...ouch.
it was like getting a handjob from robocop
I need you to do me a favor and hide my sword from me tonight. I'm planning on drinking my weight in vodka and I don't trust myself enough to not run through campus screaming "I AM SPARTA!" You'll be saving me a mugshot as well as saving some innocent girls from tears.
At one point I thought we were going to have to fuck our way out of their apartment
She keeps asking if I've seen him... For the last time YES... IN MY BED LAST FRIDAY NIGHT AND THEN AGAIN SATURDAY MORNING
GOT MY PERIOD AND AN INTERNSHIP OFFER THIS IS A WONDERFUL DAY
Bonded with the ladies at the perfume outlet by saying "help me smell like i'm not hungover before my shift starts". This is not where I wanted my life to be
I'm smoking a bowl in my bathtub. I'm meant to be alone.
this isn't the first time drunken padiddle ended in a fist fight..
Do NOT. I repeat. DO NOT call me little one after we have fucked. In no world is that ok. Even jesus agrees.
You can accomplish quite a bit with a can do attitude and a well placed ice cube.
the coup got in the way of sex but inauguration day came thru we did it joe
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