I have no voice and feel like lukewarm beer.
Without porn, I would have few hobbies.
dude. FULL moustache. it was like getting head from Tom Selleck
Well, I woke up with a text message from my cab driver that said "I hope you're alive," so that's a good indicator of how I was acting last night.
NExt question... Do i wanna sleep under my palm tree
YES.
Just put the gallon of milk in the microwave. Dad might know im high.
I'm considering failing out of my last semester of college just so I can keep fucking him.
BTW. If I show up really drunk and dressed a cowboy, don't be alarmed
Or I could just give you a blow job and make it up to you.
No, that's okay. Don't worry about it.
Going once.....twice.........sold to the girl who didn't really wanna do it anyway.
Life just isn't the same without him waking me up at 4 in the afternoon with a look of pity on his face...
I would use the term shit faced but I'm too polite for that
would you like to venture to the magical clitoris forest?
Like do I send him a nude to ease his mind off his brother having a stroke? I'm not very good with words when it comes to consoling... I would be a terrible mother.
Okay so I just had a really great idea
no.
How can you tell that you're blacked out ?
You can feel it in your nipples.
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