im surounded by vag. Like smog aound LA, i am suffocating in an atmosphere of pussy
Yeah he is here but I can't let him know I am until he has like 30 min worth of drinks. so when he see me he isn't like "omg ew,NO!"
I have so much to learn from you, wise slut
Yes. Being a lesbian's wingman is a fun as it sounds
he left me a note this morning. it said "thank you for letting me touch you"
At the time, making out with dudes for keg money seemed like a genius idea. Now I realize it was borderline prostitution.
I want to have a prehistoric party. By that, I mean I want to dress up as a dinosaur and get drunk. That's all I want in life.
Sometimes he has weird facial hair...Basically he has a penis... that's what he's got going for him.
how thoroughly do i need to sanitize the cone the vet put around my dog's neck for it to be safe to use as a beer bong?
So it turns out rose was the bear hunting girl. Fuck my life
None of those words made sense together.
I was riding her and she yelled "fuck me" then someone in the room next door yelled "you don't have to say it if youre doing it."
You say you're gonna take rehab seriously... but i keep imagining it as a training montage for you preparing to snort all of columbia.
That actually is really sweet of you
I'm having a martini with dinner. A new level of class.
I'm stoned and eating mustard, also a new level of class.
I really wanted to pound but her roomate was making mac n cheese n shit so I was trying to time her moans to the drone of the microwave
Basically all I do anymore is get stoned with my cats, and then we share goldfish.
What happened last night? I'm too scared to get out of bed and see the destruction.
First of all, check to see if that naked guy is still alive. He didn't look to be breathing when I left
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