; Think of how many worthless people would b non existant if there was no liquor so their parents never hooked up
the last time I saw her she was leaving the mens bathroom and club rush with her dress inside out. typical tease.
I considered driving home in his mom's bathrobe until i realized i'd have to stop to buy cigarettes
so this was truly a case of the blacked out leading the blacked out.
he was drinking cheap vodka with warm tap water and a packet of crystal light. if that's not an alcoholic then idk what is
Easy Mac is falling out of my sweatshirt as I'm walking down the street.
I woke up and took my shirt off, and there was what I was assume to be pieces of tree in my chest hair. Any ideas about that one?
Tinkerbell just flew up to me and tickled my balls. What the fuck did we smoke?
Did you leave your blow razor here? I need it for crafts.
Is that a tongue signal to get over there? That's how my two heads are taking it.
So did he inherit the massive family cock?
:(
I yield to the immortal wisdom of one ludacris, who famously wrote, "can't turn a hoe in to a housewife." Indeed, ludacris, indeed.
we just talked about our morning and what we were doing for the day and he handed me the addies and i took $50 out of my bra in front of a bunch of frat guys. so the mornings going really well
Cause I'll toss Tabasco sauce in his eyes and yell "Cobra attack" and walk away
I really need to stop having sex.. I haven't been able to get a brush through the back of my hair for a good week and a half
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