He never called back after I emailed him my booty call contract.
I just made what I can safely estimate to be a 900 calorie pb&j. Fuck a serving size.
I think call of duty has replaced my masturbating. And I'm alright with that.
I think the camel was justified in biting me.
Whoever decided to wrap my shins in duck tape owes me new leg hair.
just puked a little into my hand/sleeve. way too hungover for the first day of class
there's no way I could forget finding someone else's hand in my pants
Well, I made it thru a doorway, so I think things are going good.
He told me my outfit made me look like a twelve year old then proceeded with "but you don't look like a whore"
State dependent memory. I just needed to feel my teeth. It was like a fog was lifted.
He sent me a pic stitch collage of all the tit pics I had sexted him this month. It was so sweet!
I had to bail out of the tour de Franzia because I have class Saturday morning. Grad school is ruining my life
That girl is like a master class on how to be an unlovable crazy person.
Just did the "lost my phone, need #'s" post and I got a text saying "go ahead and save me as Ashley-DD because I know you will anyway. I think I love her.
There's a fuckload of syrup all over the floor.
Randomize
