He is an equal opportunity slut.
jacking off on stolen wireless... gotta enjoy the small things in life
I'm going to skip that pointless convo with Mark, stick with the "we're talking" status, and bone barely legal, borderline gay, preppy guys on the DL.
In Denver there are more bars per capita than any other city also the healthiest city. That means lots of drunk girls and no fatties.
You wouldn't let me clean the puke off your face because I'd mess up your cat whiskers. Now that's dedication.
Seriously, do normal people actually get work done being this hungover? No wonder the economy's in the shitter
Im pretty sure at one point a very high you yelled, with actual tears in your eyes, "im not wrestling with you anymore, you dont respect my safe word!!"
High moment. Almost just passed the blunt to the dog.
You're married and I'm going to make out with a stranger tonight. Isn't that weird? It's like a gap in the time space continium.
You tried to impress her by kicking the 5th floor button in the elevator, but you ended up kicking everything from 3 to 11. Then you said, "pretty accurate, huh ladies?"
You fed me pizza off a sword last night.
Is it bad that I'm a 32 year old woman that is so afraid of commitment that a hamster is too much responsibility?
I should not be allowed to be in possession of a fifth and a phone at the same time.
Don't put me in that position. I am not qualified to be the responsible adult here.
Can we skype so I'm not drinking alone?
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