i want you now
you need to stop dating girls with the same name as your mother...or stop drinking so much...I don't want to see this
I miss seeing your mom and dad at church, well mostly just your mom... She used to hug my face into her boobs.
If she asks the cat was vomiting before I fed it fried calamari
The moment that kid turns 18, I will have his sperm for all three meals.
Oh God. You're going to jail
im trying to stop thinking of him and his amazing dick. every time i do i snap myself with a rubber band. classical conditioning at its finest...and you said i wouldnt learn anything from psychology.
Going to the u of w I constantly have that moment of, oh hey I felt you up at that rave at folk fest that one time. Winnipeg is too small.
I just got a call from the front desk apparently one of my feiends was dropped off by a handicap bus passed out in a wheel chair unlv is goig down
No worries I have vodka. Its always on time
i need to un-sleep with a few of those brothers before we ever go back to that house again. i'm serious. i will not be a fraternity groupie.
Well the other day she asked me how often I jerk off. So I guess things are getting semi-serious
I mean, the night I fell out of that bus I made you pour vodka onto my wound to clean it, then duct taped a paper towel to my hand and kept drinking.
Vodka and cigarettes aside, my body is a temple.
That sounds worse than that time you thought out an entire story of how big bird would kill you
I think i just made eye contact with his roommate... while doing reverse cowgirl. Yup i have no shamee
Video on mandys page of you drinking upside down was finally put up...too bad all the comments were about me and him fighting in the background while he screamed "BLOW BIG BETSY!'
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