At the Phils game. My gay buddy just wanted up to a bunch of Mets fans and said "I'm gay, and even I think Mets fans are a bunch of fags." I love this fuckin town.
he just found out his girl is having a boy. he's probably googling "Ed Hardy diapers" as we speak.
And we started making out. She asked me to pick a number between 1 and 10. I said 6. She took me to her room. A few minutes later I wasnt a virgin. DUDE I WAS GOING TO SAY 2.
Yeah, I was googling pictures of sharks, and I accidentally typed "shart." Huge mistake.
there were at least 5 of us standing around the bathroom stall cheering you on to throw up.
How many 'remember name' entries is it inappropriate to have in one's cell phone?
Not even the dog will look at me anymore.
so high and i think i just ordered a magic bullet.
did you call within the first 18 minutes? can i have the free one?
He burnt a smiley face into the screen with a cigarette, peed in my tub and then tried to take off his pants. tried...
I'm a gay man planning my brothers bachelor party, and he choose someone else to be his best man. I hope they like appltinis and gay clubs. Bastard.
I just want to like rub my face on his abs
I need help
The two of us decided to throw a spur-of-the-moment parade and the next thing I know we're 4 miles down the road being followed by 65 drunk strangers
For sure. I'm slow cooking a 6 pound pork shoulder wrapped in bacon. If that doesn't scream "guys I'm going into culinary arts lets get drunk" I'm not sure what does.
You cannot meet up with him at the tailgate, his parents are there. What are you going to say "Hi I'm the one who fucks your son, can I get a cheeseburger?"
If not, I can murder my liver twice...it's like a cat, it has 9 lives
Randomize
