It was then that he suggested we all nibble ears. A nibble circle.
Maybe you should have studied instead of worrying about who is going to have sex with you
The guy I was getting with last night took off his purity ring mid-sex and threw it across the room.
a bus full of elementary school kids may or may not have seen me pissing off my front porch this morning
Waiting outside the STD clinic 30 min before it opens already in a line up. It's like were all waiting for a concert that no ones really pumped for
I tried giving you a bj last night and all you could manage was "Haha that tickles" and "in the morning"
After it was shut down sean literally made out with four separate girls between the 100 feet to our house. It was a rampage.
I told him if he ever gets a "wink" text from me after 10:00pm to assume I really mean "we should be hooking up by 2:30am"
If this were a real emergency kilted men wielding claymores and riding giant badgers would hve rescued said Guinness. So clearly this is just a hypothetical
I swear to god if I see a single piece of genitalia I'm driving back to LI and smacking you back to the Italian Renaissance
Spending the night with him made me realize that stupid people both irritate and fascinate me, so I'd say it equaled itself out.
somehow getting chased by a bulldozer was NOT on my to-do list for today. just saying
He gave his liver a pep talk before the vodka chugging started
His ass is a ten, but his personality is a two. Which would average to a six if I didn't have to figure in apologizing to all and sundry. In short hard no. Get a new wingman.
The last time we went to a costume party, you walked around in a loincloth with a cross and said you were Jesus. I'm eager to see how much more offensive you can be.
Randomize
