I woke up with the new contact "Britney Both Nipples Pierced"... how do you think the night went?
i'm not sure if i'm mentally prepared for this.. politeness? proper grammar? book reader ? this is a whole new meaning of the species penis for me.
she just convinced the cop to buy us ice-cream sandwiches. best/worst stoned experience ever.
I remember your 21st ending with me driving you home while you insisted making bicycle signals out the car window.
We had sex under a tree in his boss's backyard, then I hooked up with his best friend. I don't even care how I got home.
Tonight just try not to threaten to pee on the hot guys buying us drinks....please..
if i actually get asked out by my dealer what could happen?
i don't know, but it probably involves bathtubs full of weed
then he grabbed my tit and yelled "FOR NARNIA!!" then dove into my vag. i think I will do him again strictly for the entertainment value
he puked all over my guest bed and the said he felt good enough to clean it up. he poured bleach all over the bed and passed out in it. he had the chemiacal burn for a month...
i need to stop meeting underage girls and letting them into the bar. i mean yea its a surefire way to get laid without having to tell them I'm 26 but i feel like as a bouncer I'm focusing on all the wrong things
We spent 45 minutes searching the crevices of our friend's car with a pair of tweezers trying to find the acid that we dropped
Sorry I wore your bra during sex last night
You shouldn't play strip poker when you're having a wet fart kind of day.
Yea...Let's just say I gave her the best 3 and half minutes of her life then she took a 40 minute cab ride home that she paid for...
i'm at work, alone, drinking a spiced chai & fireball hot toddy. holiday OT isn't that bad after all.
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