I'm not judging you... I'm judging our friendship
Aaaand I cut your bangs with a large knife last night ...
According to him, i kept saying "I'm belligerent as SHIT" and tried to run around the house in just my bra and underwear. Thats when they decided to carry me to the car and take me home.
Had a grope session with a girl who looked like my Mom and had the same name as her as well. I think therapy is in order.
I should make a collage of all the pictures of me caught doing slutty things
New Mean Girls drinking game: Everytime someone says Africa or Math, chug.
brushed my teeth nine times since getting home, still afraid there are pubes hiding in between my molars. fucking gummy bears
I figured it out! The supermoon explains how I managed to have sex with 3 dudes in 3 nights without leaving the apartment.
Well I'm a full service fuck buddy so lemme know if I can get you food or water or anything
i asked my neighbor to open a bottle of vodka once and then we slept together
the worst part about living alone is not having other peoples snacks to mooch off of when you havent gone grocery shopping in three weeks. i'm so pms-y i'm about to eat a soy sauce packet
No I kepy moaning and just called out a name to make them believe I was actually having sex instead of masturbating.
we had sex while we waited for the thai food... a which will come first type of situation
At about 2:30 i found you passed out in my closet with your face covered in cheese whiz
How far are you from my house? Do I have time to masturbate before you get here?
Randomize
