The first thing on our $10,000 damage bill was "condoms in the main drain"
O.A.R does not stand for Old Recycled Abortions.
so i decided to listen to you and went ahead and slept with him. you owe me 3 minutes
If u were an xman, what would ur power be? I would shoot lasers from my boobs.
Since i didn't have a condom I told him to use jump ship method, I think I was overly invested in my sailor costume this year.
We couldve played the bring a random boy to lunch game but i made him go home
I woke up on top of his counter next to a pot of boiling water and an empty package of ramen... what happened to the ramen, we will never know.
Laying in bed nude eating a Big Mac with a cat. It's gonna be a good year.
We celebrated International Women's Day by spending $700 and taking our tops off at the strip club
The boys offered to pay but we went halfs because we're feminists
My suggestion is that you just get high and set shit on fire
I swear going to your house is like going to a strip club, no matter what happens I get glitter on me.
I'm so high that hamburger just went up my nose. Mustard BURNS
We fired a shoe out of a medieval cannon. I know not where we got either one.
Just walked by a girl saying to her friend "honestly you coulda given me any dude and I woulda fucked him"
You should've introduced yourself
Who says no to sex and donuts?!
Randomize
