As heartfelt as your proposal was- I will NOT marry for money- especially to someone who still owes me $700. You r officially pathetic!!
my new favorite insult= "thundercunt"
yeah he couldn't walk in a straight line and started throwing up and told the cop he just has an astigmatism
I just figured out, there are 9 children in this world that I can look at in the face and say "I fucked your mom."
I cant prove it..but im almost positive that you were just outside my window watching me while eating out of a bag of Cheetos...
Just write off about 10000+ brain cells and 6 months of your lifespan.
Sounds like a normal friday night
My only regret is not throwing up on the conveyor belt in the dining hall
Somehow ed fucked carrie while purposely not saying a single word to her all night. He just nodded and smiled.
Would it have been easier if he talked to her?
Yeah, but i bet him he couldn't do it. Now he gets a free taco bell combo of his choosing.
He's a little cute, in a dorky, I-know-for-a-fact-his-cock-is-huge kind of way
Hey super random I have you in my phone as "downtown likes to go fishing girl" haha does that sound like you
I feel so nauseous and all I want is string cheese. My life never makes sense.
Hahaha idk what's worse your life or my hangover.
I could be the Kenny Powers of Sex Therapists.
His mom wants to come see the dorm.
Hide the whip.
He gave me a back massage while we were fucking.
Did you get that?
WHILE WE WERE FUCKING.
Randomize
