Your an asshole
Actually, it's "you're an asshole"
My point exactly
Ok im wearing a joe flacco jersey and full stick on unibrow and hardly anyone else dressed up omg
Omg suz!! take the unibrow off
No! im just getting hammered instead
I drowning out her crying with songs from the Beatles it's good for us both. She relives her 30s and i dont have to hear her cry
I wish you had a penis so you could experience peeing out the window in front of a crowd of people leaving parties.
My entire floor is waiting for the couple to come out of the shower. She's a screamer. We've blockaded them
There were 4 naked women demanding my presence. Of COURSE I got into the pool.
hes wearing the same tie today that i tied him up with last night.i wanna go home
Its gonna be a symphony of fucks
If I interpreted our horoscopes correctly...you should be coming home with an 8 ball. Just saying.
I'll be listening to "I will always love you" and sobbing uncontrollably all night, care to join?
Sorry about sucking tonight. Drunk truck fucking is apparently not my strong point.
I think it really helped to be hungover at accepted students day. it gave me a good feel for how it would be everyday if I go there.
You know how I said I'd never worry about my roommate? Well I just walked in on her masturbating to Star Trek.
Did she boldly cum where no one has cum before?
Dude I can't beleive you didn't wake up. I literally f'd her IN THE DISHWASHER. Btw I'm pretty sure I also kinda broke the dishwasher.
Could’ve gone my whole life not seeing a man snort coke off another man’s cock... but there it is...
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