never. drinking. again.
lets not get ahead of ourselves.
i was out of cigarettes so i took the butts out of the ashtray, emptied them out, and proceeded to roll one big Frankenstein cigarette.
So there's 10 guys in this picture..I've made out with 5 of them. does this make me a slut?
eh 50% isn't bad..i'd say 80% is slut material.
You were yelling at the cops across the street saying they were at the wrong party
Ha, I bet. You tipped the waitress like 10 bucks for a glass of water.
it was like a congratulatory penis slap
I command you to take a shot and dance like the pretty little gay boy you are.
You're alright. You just passed out while we were having sex. Then I'm pretty sure you peed. So I went home.
WHO JUST REMOVED THAT SAME BOARD IN TWO MINUTES FLAT WITH NO INJURIES, SHOES, SOCKS, OR BRA?! THIS BITCH. CRACKIN A BEER FOR DA SHOWA. BITCHES AIN'T SHIT MOTHAFUCKA
Me and two guys that I made Eskimo bros all soberly slept together in my bed
You strapped the bucket of KFC into the carseat and refused to let me drive over 20 miles per hour the whole ride home. That high.
Are you still going to come over for your post Alcoholics Anonymous beer?
It's always nice when a total stranger hates your ex just as much as you think they should.
I had no idea he had such passive aggressive animalistic tendencies. This is the human equivalent of peeing on someone.
He was very considerate of my needs, he offered me pizza before and after.
Randomize
