I remember having a drink with vegetables in it. They said it was a mojito, but it tasted like cabbage.
haha i love mojitos
ya and i hate cabbage
barbara walters just said penis...
Even my Mr Clean Magic Eraser can't make last night disappear.
It's noon and i am somehow drinking by myself in a jazz tent in broad daylight.
I'm way too horny to be at work right now. I think it might be legally irresponsible to leave me alone with cucumbers.
He just said he was the Jesus of alcoholics.
I don't remember anything other than how good it felt when I peed my pants.
My dealer's mom died on christmas eve. Is it too soon to see if he's holding?
Some dude just came up to me and stroked my beard, smiled and left. Shave?
stuck in the elevator with that hot guy from the 3rd flood. Worried he can smell my spray tan and desperation
Maybe her vagina is like a vacuum
I can't decide if that would be a good or bad thing. I'm leaning toward good
Today would have been my 8th wedding anniversary and I woke up with a hot European guy in my bed. Divorce has it's perks.
Is there a tactful way to ask "how are your balls?" Or do I just ask point blank
I got fucked in a bat mobile this morning. Being slutty rules.
Speaking of dignity, who all saw me....
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