The walk of shame is slightly more complicated when you wake up in the wrong country...
yeah. then i thought it would be a good idea to show them how hairy my armpits were, so they'd be distracted from the bush in my pants. EPIC FAIL.
She wouldn't stop saying her own name. Like a damn pokemon.
I'm not sure what happened last night, but I have someone stored in my phone as 'Aftershock'
it wasn't the penis i had been hoping for.....but i took it regardless.
She started to rub her ass on my shoulder and i instantly thought "i am going to get E. Coli"
I maybe late, he's in a peeing contest with the neighbor's dog. Currently he's in the lead.
Santa was walking around downtown handing out stuff at the bars. He gave me a free eyebrow wax. I think he's trying to tell me something
I only know two things that kitchen floors are good for... sex and quesadillas that got dropped. You know, the five second rule
Finally buying a camera. Missed out on recording a 3way last night. Hindsight. Ugh.
I just used bulldog clips for nipple clamps. Also, a wooden spoon as a paddle. DYI Domination or Ghetto Bondage?
Rebecca hasn't has this number in 3 months. Please tell all her friends to stop calling at 3 am. We are not interested in buying or selling drugs nor do we want to hook up with anyone. You all need to go to rehab.
all I want for my birthday is booze and sex toys. don't bother calling if neither of those are included.
You were just laying there on the air mattress watching spongebob with a knife. We tried to take it from you, but you insisted it was your emergency escape in case you started to float off.
We got stoned and watched Disney movies all night. I think I'm in love.
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