Be sure to let me know if your relationship crumbles so I can resume hitting on you
his ringtone is the jonas brothers. get me the fuck out of here NOW.
We video chatted for almost two hours. But I woke up with puke on my keyboard. The question of the day: were we still chatting when I vommed? No idea.
i have absolutely no control over my now miserable and whore-ish lifestyle.
i wanted to go smoke pot, so i told my mom i was getting tutored. she asked what time i would be back, i told her learning doesn't have a curfew
I'm a terrible person. There are two guys speaking sign language on the metro platform and at first I thought they were drunk and doing a silly dance.
I guess, just don't make it awkward
MY FUCK BUDDY'S MOTHER FRIEND REQUESTED ME! IT'S ALREADY AWKWARD COREY
I was just crying my tits off and he was just sitting there listening. I was an open book of embarrassing life stories.
Wine is not your friend.
She once gave me sex advice over the phone while intoxicated. So no you don't have the cooler therapist.
A big dick and how quickly they respond to snapchat is all I look for in a guy
I'm so excited for post-beer fest chipotle. It will be better than scared shitless pre-go karting chipotle.
What's the address and code again...does anyone need anything and why is my viking helmet on the bed?
If she "comes out" to me I guess I'll high five her. That's pretty much my response to everything these days.
Just shaved my crotch so I could call it the bald eagle. Happy 4th.
The moral of the story is this:the last shot of the night is always a mistake
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