I think i peed on brittanys purse
FUCK TREES I CLIMB BUOYS MOTHERFUCKER
STOP listening to that song
I just saw a pair of panties stretched over a fire hydrant on campus... I need to get the fuck out of this town
I drank gravy. I actually drank gravy. This is heaven.
I apparently tried to stop my spending of money by sealing the top of my wallet with gum
I think I might stay on campus instead of going home for thanksgiving and see how many townies I can hook up with and no one will be around to judge
Totally just projectile vomited while ridind a bicycle.
Wtf. I just got invited to a threeway bj session in the bathroom at boiler. Lmao
No talking tonight. Just drinking and puking up memories
If by "Are you high?" u mean "Did you just pass out at Genghis Grill walking to your table and falceplant?" the answer is yes.
im far more worried about your salsa intake than your weed intake
It's gotten to the point that when I close my eyes to cum all I see is candy crush
I told him that I wanted his dick like I wanted a jumbo hot dog. There something wrong with my priorities
The last time the Patriots won the Super Bowl I lost my virginity. I can only imagine what'll happen if they win this year.
Hey Girl, we got home safe!
I know, I drove you
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