I mean, you're like my second best best friend we're so close I can't believe you'd do that to me
She's Christian and monogamous. Two wammies right there. No amount of convincing will turn that bi for a night.
We decided to have a girls night of four lokos, three of us cried and the other puked
what if his mom answers? its like high school, but hes 30
We should invent fake asshair for you to wear so you can experience my pain for a day.
Told some chick I'm a virgin, on my way to her house as I type this. Debating crying afterwards to fuck with her head.
Sometimes I hate my life and then I remember I live in the WORLD CAPITAL OF RUM
I didn't notice because vodka
I didnt finish. My brain kept playing the duck tales theme thru the entire blow job
Meh, all I have to do tomorrow is proctor an AP test. No loud noises and no physical activity allowed for almost 4 hours. Sounds like the perfect recovery period for a hangover.
I just want to meet a nice normal guy that doesn't want me to taze him while we have sex. . . . .is that too much to ask for?
I made you bacon and gave you a blow job. I'd say you had a pretty great day.
Any chance he has an open marriage? That penis shouldn’t be wasted on one woman. It should be shared with all womankind, or at least me. I’m too good at sex to be deprived a penis that large
Ugh. All the good hoes are in their third trimester.
Replacing my paralegal is easy. Replacing my favorite office fuck toy is a totally different story. Damn him for wanting to better himself instead of being my manwhore
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