Think the blond can even spell "shiksa"?
I just sneezed everywhere.....everywhere. Now no one will talk to me.
Playing drinking games to Nancy Grace totally counts as "keeping up with current events.."
Would you want me to push you down the stairs OR throw you a baby shower?? Real talk
So I just googled the ten commandments... Were fucked.
Lowest moment of my life just occurred. I literally threw up all over myself in front of my parents.
It's taking 3 penises to fill the hole he left in my heart.
We got kicked out of the ice rink last night for drinking and checking strangers... but they let us keep the beer
They had their heads out of the car singing the wrong words to the national anthem as we drove through traffic of people leaving the fireworks. AMURICA
I just made SCOTCHSICLES. no further info is necessary
She sat next to me on the couch and said "word going around is you got a sweet cock". My nickname problem was solved!
Bang-toberfest begins!!
You always seem to be able to bribe me with tequila and Mac and cheese. This relationship of ours will cause me health problems someday.
He keeps bees of course he's weird
Aww his grandma died? That's sad! No mourning sex!!! That doesn't lead to good things!
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