During sex he wiggled his hips and said "I'm turning the ice cream" Deal breaker?
I'll show rhose boucners: You don't let me in, I poop on your pool.
i was the DD for the swedish students tonight. Got paid 23 dollars for driving 10 miles. gotta love ignorance and the confusion conversion brings.
Im trying to find an appropriate gift to your mom for getting both you and your sister on birth control within a week, any suggestions?
btw found the cat. he didn't appreciate the toilet bath.
I can't believe I had to sit there pretending to play Halo with a condom on for 20 Minutes because your brother barged in to tell a story.
I told him he could fuck me once he could grow a beard. Never expected seeing him ten years later with a goatee and a great memory...
I cannot even describe to you the most amazing ass I have ever had the pleasure of seeing walk up the stairs in front of me just now.
Who wrote "the chamber of secrets has been open, enemies of the heir beware" across my bathroom wall?
Simple math equation: Up till 5 a.m. drinking + up at 9 a.m. for nephews birthday party = puking in the pool
My mom told me to get it out of my system now bc once I hit 30 it's not acceptable to get "white girl wasted".
Just don't do anything stupid
i did a stupid sorry
all i know is that i woke up at 12:00 am in a shower with egg shell in my hair. i am 90% sure you are responsible.
I cannot believe I am seriously having a conversation about my best friend's sexual prowess as a dream lesbian.
I like that they’re all named Christopher or Chris. No need to worry about moaning during!
Randomize
