what if the hokey pokey really is what its all about?
Talk about awkward... Just went to dinner with my mother and realized I fucked our waiter the night before. She HAD to see the looks he was giving me!
He just stood there...Helen Keller and I could have had a more interesting conversation
this whole healthcare thing got me thinking.. without knowing it my parents are now going to be paying for my dealer to be able to live..
her face looked like how i feel after Taco Bell
There's a fried egg and an empty bottle of reddiwhip in the parking lot. Did you have fun last night?
You just seemed really offended whenever my cup was empty.
Never ever ever ever ever ever give your number to a 30 year old at buffalo wild wings. Ever ever ever.
Things bear mace does not do: repel bears. Things bear mace does do: piss off bears, give bystanders asthma attacks. Lesson learned
Clearly it doesn't get better with age. Just more sexual
I went by my nickname in rehab. It made it feel more like summer camp.
She's going to be the first to die of too much illness. Not even super bad stuff like cancer but like for having a cold at the same time as a sore throat and chlamydia or something. Just too much diseases.
I threw up in the bathtub last night like a decent human being.
He grabbed a pine cone off the ground and yelled "I love cigars" then tried to smoke it for ten minutes.
Nice. Make him jerk off and tape it. Send it to his woman. I also love that you had another skype date
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