CNN just did a special on how to do heroin safely.. I recorded it for us
i'm considering texting him with "i'm leaving the country for a year, wanna fuck?"
do it. it's every man's dream.
I like how washing the beer bong is now a regular part of washing the dishes.
No, I think it was the night I threw up in her front yard. You're thinking of the time I threw up in her backyard.
When it gets to the point that I'm more comfortable being naked at his house than my own, it's time to readdress the fuckbuddyship.
The bartender from Thursday remembered me... And gave me a FLAMING BUCKET of alcohol.
Well then. It seems like we have a Mexican standoff of genitals
time for you to cut the loving, understanding, non-judgmental crap and say/do whatever it takes to make sure I never, ever, ever sleep with him again ever
Rehydrating your liver back to life is never a good idea.
Opted for cash back rather than the 10% extra I'd get for store credit, solely for drinks tonight.
You're lovely.
I think Jabba the Hut is dying in the stall next to me.
This is my punishment for trynna have a festive time with a stranger. I always forget you can't get weird with one night stands
See I would make a great girlfriend. My surprises are sex and burritos. What else do guys want
We've had gay sex and pie, the holiday season has officially begun.
that lady just saw me taking a picture of her baby... It's time to leave.
Randomize
