she said it was ok for her to take her top off in the hot tub but she didn't take off her bottoms because that would be slutty
so I got guilt tripped into giving her a new years kiss, and she proceeded to try and eat my face while mounting me. when you give a mouse a cookie...
In my 8 am class there was a pack of birth control on the board with a note saying, "Some dude somewhere is unhappy."
I managed to throw up 90 feet under water, just removed my breathing tube, puked, put it back in. All inclusive is the way to go.
So I just told the bartender I would go down on her. You need to get here
I just looked into the eyes of the man whose car I peed on last night
How's my date look?
Like a retarded elf
In a good way
just found out I was hugging strangers at the bar last night. there's photographic evidence. I know none of them
I rolled joints beforehand. Lit a candle. Ghetto rigged taping the 40's on my hands and then lit the joint using the flame of the candle.
I'm so proud of your modern ingenuity
I mean honestly, I love naps like Anthony Weiner loves sending dick pics
Let us rub each other in fish scales and become mermaids
cake and sex. what better combination is there.
Oh man. I am high, watching The Office and getting pancakes. What a country.
It's becoming clear to me that I am not sugar baby material. I don't think I could handle old balls long term.
shots, cocks, socks. bingo
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