remember about an hour ago when i told you i was never drinking again? i may or may not be mixing malibu with caprisun. just saying.
Ben's a prick.
What Ben are you talking about?
All the bens across all the lands
I hope you had to get up out of bed and walk across your room to check this text message
I am sleeping on the floor in your room so if you have sex in here just don't roll on me
I think I dropped my cock ring in your back yard
Hey, can you come over and kill me real quick
Just lifeguarded a kid's party hungover so I could afford to go out drinking tonight. Circle of life shit goin on here.
Ideas for halloween. We need simple yet hilarious. Cheap yet effective. Slutty yet acceptable. Go.
Hold your horses dude. Titty pics are a work of art.
I'll call it a tollerance break and either will be celebrating my new job with a bowl or will be smoking my sadness away from not getting the job. Either way.
I'm not allowed back because I may or may not have insulted his beer. And the entire Czech Republic.
I'm about to have a threesome at the hotel where I had my quinceañera. Becoming a woman under this roof for the second time, whaaat
Once you find out someone has a small dick, you never look at them the same again.
For one week of my life every time I pull my cock out I want the Jurassic Park theme music to start playing.
It's like Guy Diamond blew glitter into my vagina.
Randomize
