she told me she had a boyfriend but the alcohol told me she didn't
I'll trade you a raw potato for some vodka
we ended up doing shots out of those medicine cups..swine flu finally did something good for me
Just bought a pack of cigs...gas station guy informed me i took off my underwear and tried to pop a squat by the milk last night...
After he told me that it's up to him to carry on his family name, I almost felt bad for not letting him cum inside me.
I realized I'm gonna have to fit cheating on my gf, sleeping with my gf and having dinner with her parents all into one Sunday evening
I'm not sure which one did it but one of them fucked the kink out of my neck
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
I woke up in the ER. This living like theres no tomorrow really could mean theres no tomorrow.
Ita all starting to make sense i need vodka like i need air
I bit my tongue so hard I left a deep imprint. Fuck you tongue, stop getting in the way of food.
My ex came over to hook up...then I went on a date 2 hours later and got a bj. Single: Finally doing it right.
Just saw the bridesmaid use her new sister in law as a stripper pole
So high I legit spent 20mins in the shower just holding my tits cuz they feel bigger than normal.
YOU GOT ME SO DRUNKK
i got me so drunk!
Randomize
