If I were a boy, I'd name my penis Reptar.
omg, he ripped it...he ripped my vagina...best. night. ever.
It was so good the neighbors even had a cigarette.
I found him in the livingroom trying to soak up broken glass with the clock from the kitchen.
She came back in her actual cheerleader uniform. Made a bad bj tolerable.
She just face-timed her mom and had her watch all of us toast to her grandmas tits..
He looks like a fat version of lurch from the adams family and smells like fritos. This is not the caliber man I want pleasuring himself to the thought of me!
So I pull up to an apartment complex and immediately felt like I was here to get stoned.
they adjusted my tv to black and white ... i thought i drank myself to colorblindness
he was high. i was rolling face. we were both wearing grateful dead t shirts. at that point it's like we had no choice but to fuck
I'm 99% sure I just flashed my dad with my vagina. So that's the new low now.
What are the chances I get my period 2 weeks early just as welcome week starts. My uterus is conspiring with my dead catholic grandma
Oh, I also stabbed a guy Friday and he still asked me out
I JUST SNEEZED WITH A MOUTHFUL OF CHEWED UP CASHEWS AND THEY CAME OUT MY NOSE AND IT HURT AND NOW I HAVE A LITTLE NOSEBLEED
ya figured it'd be nice to explore the mythical world of sober sex i've heard so much about
i've often wondered how it works
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