You're the end to all my bad dreams.
Did you have that reoccuring dream about me banging your mom again?
she had no gag reflex. and is an abercrombie model. i love college.
my stepmom is let-the-dog-eat-out-of-her-mouth drunk. oh my god.
Ha ha. You should see the things I'm doing to my body at Bob Evans.
until he told me my vag was like a juicy apple and he loved eating it, yes, i really did think we were both sober.
I sexy timed too hard and there is an ass shaped piece of a ping pong table now missing bc of it. How am I allowed to leave the house without a helmet?
I was scared that I should know him but I was too busy blacking out to remember
RE-DICK-YOU-LUSSSSS
That's me emphasizing the ridiculous
According to him, i kept saying "I'm belligerent as SHIT" and tried to run around the house in just my bra and underwear. Thats when they decided to carry me to the car and take me home.
Totally forgot we howled at the full moon last night... It's safe to say Tuesday Boozeday is my new favorite day of the week
Below this exterior of ice is a layer of cum. Followed by a pool of gin. More cum. Then, finally a heart.
Tell me why I woke up outside of our hotel room Wearing a cowboy hat and boots in Las Vegas.
I can say with absolute certainty the only time we ever had a civil conversation was when we agreed we both liked pizza.
And by not handle it I mean it makes me want to sit on his face
Basically, I am an endless fountain of unconvential sexual experiences and knowledge.
Randomize
