he thought i was a dude.
operation "beaches make me wet" is a go
Just come over and take your pants off. 35 mins tops. You'll be home before midnight cinderella
Doctor took one look at my penis and said, 'you don't have herpes, you just masturbate too much'
I have 20 seconds to get my life together and look presentable.
He licked the chalk off his shirt, then spat the Mountain Dew from his mouth onto the shirt and sucked on it. And thats him sober.
Dude, they are shaking the RV, yell at them. It feels like i'm being rocked to sleep, I don't like it, I'm not a baby.
I will turn myself into a beacon of get at me bro
I bet yours is gonna be filled with secret innuendo.
secret innuendo and cervical punches to the world.
Say what you will, but only I can throw up on someone's door and make it look like art.
That's the last time I'm letting you drink that apple vodka
I'm not sure how to explain it, but I feel like our penises have a connection. Like long lost brothers. We're not even gay.
If I'm going to keep blacking out this much I need to start taking more pictures.
Just by hearing the girl outside reciting the info on her fake ID, I know it's gonna be a good night
In other news, I’ve officially fucked a grandpa.
why does every cop we meet know your name?
Randomize
