I am good. I dancing. Drinking but dancing fine.
It's a law of Nature, girls naturally hate eachother. It's only when there's no competition for a mate that they can hate each other a little less and then are appropriated into the "BFF" slot.
All I want to do right now is burp, puke, and fart. In that order.
there was enough confetti in my bra to throw another NYE party
I'm more concerned with the fact that he was UNconcerned that live poultry could peck him in the nutsack @ any moment of sex
Blacked out, Had to be carried out of the bar again by two large black bouncers. Asked them to be my "boo thangz" Again.
Ps I got my nipple pierced. You're just gonna have to accept me for the tool I am and I don't wanna hear any shenanigans.
His 21st birthday is in the middle of shark week, it's meant to be.
You know being hammered seven days in a row can do serious damage to your liver.
Text me on Monday and make sure I'm still alive
I need to ask my mom where the drain cleaner is, but I'm afraid she'll ask why and the answer to that will just be "cum."
I started having a bad trip because I closed my eyes and got lost in a forest of patterns and I knew my mom would be upset.
Was I at least a good cuddler? Like at least honorable mention?
That was awkward , having sex with her while her husband watched via Skype. I'm a porn star or a target. Idk
my throat is bruised, my back is scarred, my vagina feels like it's going to fall off.. you're like godzilla. you destroy everything.
Had an orgasm and got a charley horse at the same time. It was a multi-purpose scream.
I'm pretty sure that waking up butt ass naked with a bottle of 151 and a note that said "I didn't want to wake you up, but thanks" proves I had a good time....god bless America
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