I may or may not have just irish jigged at a bar. And broken out in a sweat from it. Not a good sign for that marathon yo.
the red head has a bf
just because there's a goalie doesn't mean u can't score
they told you the "weed man" wouldn't come until you were asleep, like santa claus. you believed it.
some random kid just walked into our apartment with two cases... I don't know who he is but I like him
I just wanted to let you know I just licked gravy off of my boobs. Just putting that out there.
He calls it "his noble steed" and i plan to ride it.
Why is there a chocalet milkshake outside our front door?
Alcohol
with great strapon comes great responsibility.
The time to say "now you can't go and be strange about this at work" is not as you are penetrating your coworker. NOW its awkward
I talked to the pizza guy for 10 minutes about my truck, I don't even have a truck
I might as well walk around wearing a sandwich board and accept the fact that I'm dying single.
This is like 50 shades on steroids but with healthy relationship models and mutual respect among all parties involved and lesbian activity.
I can't decide if I miss drinking or you, they are so closely connected.
The last time I saw you you got angry and yelled "WHISKEY DOESNT COUNT" ... I think that's at least a 7 on the hotmess scale.
The cure for a hangover evidently is not walking around in a costume in the sun towards of park of screaming children
Randomize
