Look at my ENTIRE past
Highly public sexual behavior gross mismanagement of funds socially unaccpetable and radical speech and thought
Might as well have a blog about it at this point
ive never been so in love with another man before, in a totally none sexual way... no homo
On my way home i need to take a massive dump and couldn't wait.
Fuck buddy has no power. Invited her over to use my shower. I love hurricaines.
Just an FYI: The offer for you to come snow blow my driveway in return for sexual favors is still on the table
When I woke up I had three missed calls from the name 'dream krystals'.... If I remember correctly she was the lady at the drive thru at Krystals and her name was Dream.. She wanted to come to the strip club with us... Do you remember?
How would one go about tricking someone into chugging an entire bottle of tequila?
I'm going to have to start playing roller derby again so I can blame my sex-related bruises on that.
If making out with three guys at once at a Kesha concert while simultaneously smearing glitter all over yourself doesn't convince her you're gay, nothing will
The 4th is next week. If we don't get to a new level of high, we will be letting down George Washington.
So we stayed at his mom's and all got drunk and he and I hooked up in his old bedroom. Then his drunk mom came in and tackled us when we were still naked. Why does this keep happening to me?
You just gave me the title for the series of our lives. Haha. Chapter 12: the cocaine on the back of the hairbrush
That awkward moment when your drug dealer pulls your boss out of the snow
Fuck it. I'm going for it. You're only young once, right?
You've been saying that for 5 years now. Let me know when the novelty wears off.
Honestly the prospect of dick really lifts a girl's spirits
Randomize
