yeah...it smells like an asshole would smell if someone ate sewage.
I puked off the balcony.
Not horrible
Into the hottub. There were six people in it. I had eaten all their pizza.
Remember in school when they told us our vag was made just the right size for our future husband? I must say I am enjoying trying to find that perfect fit.
Using your Catholic School education as an excuse for this? Why didn't I think of that?!
They refer to his house as "the abortion clinic". Cant wait.
he ruins everything I try to do including his roommates
come on down! you are the next contestant on the night is drunk!
By getting lucky do you mean I get one of your incredible BJs or you not killing me by the end of dinner?
His car is rigged up like the cash cab how am i supposed to not sleep with him
Not only does DQ have s'mores shakes, sonic has a hot dog in a pretzel bun, and Wendy's has a burger in a pretzel bun. Important things are happening.
he walked up looked at my boobs then looked at my eyes then looked at my boobs again smiled and said "can I get you and the girls a shot "
Have you ever had chicken nuggets while high? Because it tastes like hearing the Beatles for the first time
My RA just sigh me high as fuck acting like a zombie and scratching at my door. Thoughts?
She gave me a roadie as we drove home from fireworks. People were still lighting off their displays as we drove by. I love America.
I got titty fucked last night and you're breastfeeding your newborn. Clearly we have gone two totally different paths since 2011.
"I'm 22, I could die in a piano bar." -a sentence i actually just said to my boss
Randomize
