If I say "It's good enough" and I'm not talking about a sandwhich, that's your queue to stop me, you're supposed to be my friend.
Let's create a 16 and pregnant drinking game
im already regretting the extreme lack of break up sex that took place
Just so you know there's a random man downstairs knocking on a door with a dozen roses and a 30 pack of beer. Unattractive or not, I'm inviting him in.
I pretty much threw up on him while he slept, I had one task today which was to wash the sheets that I threw up on and I turned them pink. I would leave me if I could
Do not buy whiskey under any circumstances. There should be a UN sanctioned buffer zone between me and Seagrams.
"guaranteed dick" "anywhere - her room, my room, trees, couch"
Sorry that was quotes about you from the grad student.
Oh I already celebrated valentine's day. I stayed up until 4 AM listening to biggie, drinking rum, and caressing all my girl curves in front of the mirror. And then I came 3 times.
He tells me he loves me and I say I just want him for sex, then he looks at me like I just said I hate puppies. What kind of guy is he?
I found a bag of weed while packing. Now packing is like creating tiny universes inside of boxes.
I may have to marry her. She is smarter than me and has a six figure job and doesn't want to have kids. All I have to be is a trophy husband.
It's amazing
I want to run hundreds of miles and do a whole semesters worth of homework while flying on a unicorn and throwing endless glitter bombs
Would it be crossing a line if I told him that I now know his girlfriend has a huge mole on her left ass cheek?
I will give him this, every time we go to the club he gets a stripper's actual number.
Eventually I will start sleeping with people who actually want to hangout with me the next day... But not today
Randomize
