dude im shwasted, kabul is not the best place for this
Hard to imagine a reason apart from blow jobs that I'm awake at 530 am.
I just used a tire swing as a toilet. I think I'm gonna pass out here so I can see the look on the first kid who uses it in the morning.
we had incredible sex, then he proposed with the vibrating cock ring
My lower body still feels like its been through a garbage disposal and a trash compactor. In that order.
He got kicked out 3 times. I have no idea how he kept getting back in. I saw him walking on the highway the next morning.
I fell asleep after the worst sex of my life and now I'm snowed in with him. SEND HELP. CALL FEMA. GET ME OUT OF HERE.
He made me twerk for scrambled eggs... I regret nothing
I'm in the line at Chipotle thinking: "What combo will best prepare my body for the open bar I'm going to subject it to tonight?"
You can't honestly expect me to maintain an erection when you have the Glen Beck show on
we were having a conversation about big dicks and the chick at the table beside us turned to us said "me and my boyfriend just broke up a few days ago. Could you please NOT talk about big dicks"
Just let me suck your dick and be happy. Let me have this.
Awww I'm so proud! Starting friendships before you hook up!
Idk I saw a cheetah print onesie and it reminded me of your Lion King fantasy.
U dont jog and buy condoms n bulk
Randomize
