Just brushed my teeth...forgot we used this toothbrush in bed last night.
the cure to his relationship is in or around my vagina.
her last google searches are 'cheap african safari' and 'what does lion taste like'
My fight-or-flight response is really more fight-or-fuck
At a St Pats house party. Just raised $110 for two short chicks to crawl into a dog cage together. Video forthcoming. Respect.
i just remember pinky promising you guys to take care of him.
I Know I'm the drunk girl in the trunk right now, BUT PLEASE LISTEN TO ME!
The underwear in the garbage is clean. Just wipe the pizza sauce off
I think the camel was justified in biting me.
Did I change midway through last night?
Seven times. The most notable outfits were UFC Fighter and Top Hat Viking
Random thought: what if being devoured by animals was a death penalty option...and you got to choose the animal?
you said I shouldn't try to fill the void in my meaningless life with dicks but i am trying and it totally works
It can't be Friday yet, in still getting friend requests of people I don't remember from last weekend
The only thing about him that I appreciated was that he destroyed the bathroom at your birthday and missed singing to you. And we all knew.
I made soup. Now I'm having post soup making wine. I had pre soup making wine also.
Randomize
