I boned her and wore a Freddy mask once. It was pretty lol
office poll is still running 100% that Spencer Pratt is more disturbing than David Carradine's death
This is the first month I have not taken plan B to get my period in over a year
And somehow that makes me sad knowing I haven't had raunchy unprotected sex in a month
It was amazing what she could do with her one good arm.
I intend to get homeless drunk
Most sexually ambiguous night of my life. Kept switching from the NBA finals to the Tonys.
Last night after the bar I went home and ate a pulled pork sandwich in a bubble bath
Oh my fucking god you idiot bitch just get here forget about the vodka the fucking cops are looking for you
Ok well hopefully you're not staging an intervention for me at your place because I'm bringing beers
some people popped out of a houseboat and asked us to their party. their houseboat IS A WEEDBOAT. it is full of weed they grow weed. EVERYWHERE.
Who gives a hand job to a 19 yr old one night then the next lets a 31 year old random man fly a plane to town and pick u up and take u to dinner?
When you glanced over and and mouthed "I'll take the fat chick" I knew it was going to be an epic Sunday night.
I just got high off one hit and the. Spent 20 minutes inspecting the gasket of our refridgerator and researching ways to replace it
1. Why did we have the team Chirstmas party in November 2. Why didn't anyone tell me the coaches were invited 3. Why did coach get the giant vibrator I brought
Why do I have "apologize to Dave Coulier" written on my hand?
Randomize
