awesome recipe for disaster- bar hopping at the airport
That bus ride was like a tour of all the bushes I puked behind last night
There's guys at my school running around throwing potatoes shouting "remember the famine." makes me proud to be Irish.
Honestly, I don't care whether it was a guy or a girl. Best blowjob ever.
Do you think she hates me because I thought her roommate's name actually was Butterface?
Found him fucking some random drunk chick in the bathrrom at the blue lep with a beer in each hand. had to give him props.
We should invent fake asshair for you to wear so you can experience my pain for a day.
I wonder if they have a "21st birthday" section in the hospital..
Well I'm a full service fuck buddy so lemme know if I can get you food or water or anything
My little brother came home while I was sitting there icing my vagina with a bag of peas. Asshole looks at me, high fives Ryan, then leaves.
CALL ME OLD FASHIONED BUT PEE IS FOR TOILETS
I realized it was late, and he was my brother in humanity and another incarnation of my own life force and consciousness, so I regained control of myself, thanked him for helping me, and went home.
Lucky bitch I'm at work covered in Jeff pee. And my hair smells like beer because I was trying to prove a point about PBR serving multiple purposes.
Met the hot new neighbor. She's into country music and giving really good bjs. Latter made up for the former.
Want to go to Victoria’s Secret? His fiancée is out of town and I’m going to try and stop the wedding with lingerie and lots adventurous sex
Absolutely! I love a good sexual filibuster!
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