You seriously looked at the house acorss the street and implied that you thought they had nice Easters.
No, I'm in the bathroom trying to scrub off the 16 tally marks on my wrist so its not so obviously to the world that I puked on a couch last night.
I managed to fit my wallet, my keys, my phone, Tammy's necklace, and $38.50 all in my bra. and $1.50 is in quarters. go me.
we've called him dos banos ever since he threw up in 2 separate bathrooms with the same puke
Apparently you need a permit for a flamethrower.
I'm pretty sure "tag teaming" and "looking for stability" are not synonymous.
Not yet.
He's just so adorable. And I don't want to fuck someone who's adorable.
There was a tour on campus today, and there were two girls i went to high school with in the group. They saw me and ran up to me as i was unlocking my door. when i opened it, kate was laying in a pile of glitter and beer cans. We need to reevaluate.
Dude, I puked in the stall for God knows how long. Halfway through, a kid sits down in the stall next to me and starts jacking off, i heard the porn on his phone and everything. so FYI, the middle stall is where good nights go to die
Kyle found me outside his apartment in the hallway. Said he didn't hear me knock bt smelled alcohol through the door. I'm sucha bitch to my liver
Not sure if creeper guy is too drunk to talk or I'm too high to listen.
it's ok, no one ever died fom being sticky.
i've gotta research that and get back to you.
I just spilled grey goose in my hair. You could say I keep it classy for the family Christmas parties.
I'm currently hiding from this horrific thing that we call adulthood. If anyone needs me, I'll be smoking a bowl in the bouncy house.
If the people you’re with use the word tequila in a sentence with phrases like hair of the dog or breakfast of champions...run awsy
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