i felt like the dude nobody likes from the mikes hard lemonade commercial
You broke her grandpas urn and ran your hand through his ashes claiming it was pixie dust. I think thats why shes mad at you..
Well, you're either very drunk or very high but I'll let it slide because I love any type of conversation concerning cheese.
Hannah wants to know if she cant borrow your stats notes because she threw up on hers.
Dont get mad at me, it takes two to tango
IT TAKES ONE TO EJACULATE INTO THE OTHER WITHOUT CONSENT, AND SPOILER ALERT, ITS THE ONE WITH A SCROTUM FULL OF SEMEN.
despite the cops showing up at 8am, pre gaming groundhog day was my idea yet. and by pre gaming, i of course mean getting black out drunk by 7:30am
We knew it was a good time to leave when you spilt the salsa on the ground and were trying to put it back in the jar with your hands
Yeah haha but we have no idea where his keys are. Last night was awful. Him and Chancey were in a fully embraced bro hug at one point. Both crying.
My housemates are judging me because I'm high at 8am and making Spongebob shaped Mac and Cheese
They know nothing, John Stoned.
So my new thing apparently is getting wasted, showing people my slytherin socks and convincing them I'm slytherin..because why not
"Being an adult" and "being happy" are two circles that do not overlap in my Venn diagram of life.
Yupp. He's definitely a screamer.
What are you gunna do with your life today
put it back together
He makes me want to cheat on my other 3 boyfriends..
I tried to get the guy I like to “spit shake” on a sexual bet... why am I such a bro fml
Randomize
