worst hand job ever. my dick is about as raw as that sushi your mom wanted me to try.
Question: Is it too early to claim April Fools on the text "can we do some lines before the concert" that I accidentally sent Mom?
you were having sex in the bathroom so i pee'd in your bong water...
i'm in workout clothes. this is progress.
He keeps trying to sell me the forks from his kitchen drawer
just tried to puke while my RA was trying to puke in the stall next to me.bonded for life
Im sitting on the exxon bathroom floor, idk if its healthy but it sure is cold
I'm so in the Halloween spirit, I zombified my all of my nudes on my phone. Tell me this isn't creative.
No, fuck buddies don't get birthday party privledges...
Sorry.
i forgot to brush my teeth before I went over so i went to the bathroom and started eating his toothpaste. we're still in the early stages of fuckdom
sometimes, you gotta take him by the hands like tails took sonic, and fly him into the bedroom.
See I would make a great girlfriend. My surprises are sex and burritos. What else do guys want
Is that a question you really want to ask or do you just want to tell you that I can't walk without feeling like my legs are collapsing underneath me
I just set my acrylic nail on fire while trying to light my blunt
I have no idea what to do with myself since we graduated.
I've just been napping and sexting all day.
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