So I pulled my t-shirt down, pushed my boobs up and marched right into that church!
shhh. i hid the ranch dip behind the rooster. don't tell anyone that way you can find it in the morning and it won't be all eaten.
wrong number but thanks
I only had sex with her cause she looked like jwoww from jersey shore
Well I disagree, 3 different men in my bed over my birthday was the perfect way to say goodbye to my childhood innocence
he can show you his cooooock\nshining, shimmering, splendiddddd
Please. Last time I saw him I awkwardly pulled his rat tail until it got too weird
I knew it was a good Wednesday night when I woke up tucked in to NOT my own bed with my beer helmet, an empty bottle of Jose, and a trash can placed in front of my face.. Happy 20th!
Ahahhahaha I'm not that stupid but then again I thought cabo was in Africa until yesterday
I woke up last night a kitchen floor with my shirt off and I love America written on my leg in eye liner
He told me how it ended, then I blew him.
So he ruined the best cinematic experience of your life and you REWARDED him??
she paid $15 and a box of cheerios for their acid
I somehow turned head, shoulders, knees, and toes into a sobriety test
I've just had my first cup of coffee in a month and I moaned at the first drink and honestly I think this is the most sexual expreiance in 6 months
New low: uploading my contacts into Facebook in an attempt to get the name of the girl I brought home last night.
He ate me out in the passenger seat of his Range Rover in a Tim Hortons parking lot. I could hear “oh canada” on the radio from a nearby school as I came. Most patriotic orgasm ever!
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