There are 3 speedbumps now up. Think you can manage the urge to piss on them?
Aw shit! That's like putting me a in a room full of Captiain Crunch Donuts and Jasper Hale and not letting me put my mouth on either.
she is unbelievable! ever pee on a girl?
not while she was awake
I found a dealer that takes plastic. I'm so in trouble.
The Rock is playing the tooth fairy. I can't believe I used to smell what that man was cooking
I feel like im in a tornado of daylight savings, tequila and death
No, I think it was the night I threw up in her front yard. You're thinking of the time I threw up in her backyard.
it's kinda bad that we're already planning travel arrangements to his funeral
I don't remember anything but yelling at the ref in Spanish.
When did you hit me on the head with a stool?
I'm not asking you to commit. I'm politely asking your penis to be my friend.
Who was the person who brought the rooster when they won @ beer pong
just almost had a panic attack because i couldn't find the granola bar i put in my purse. i miss klonopin.
You're like Jane Goodall in a forest of gay men. Someday your autobiography will be called "Bottoms in the Mist".
Of course I understand. Thou shalt never turn down a free meal or drink. It's one of the commandments of being a girl.
I believe you can. But if you can have rum with breakfast then do that. Definitely do that.
Randomize
