Quick, to the slutcave!
I just googled "semen solvent" and got nothing. there has to be something that will wash this shit off!
I see a marketing opportunity
got in a fight at the bar because some dude thought i was being sarcastic when i told him "sweet mustache". it really was a sweet mustache
my step dad just called me a drunken slut..someone in my family finally understands me
My mom just blew pot smoke into my nose and called me a cat.
Also pregame at mine tomorrow?
I'm just saying, margarita tuesday would turn anyone gay.
Man in California was arrested for killing and eating a wild bobcat while high on crystal meth. Let's please NEVER get that high on anything...
direct quote from andrew "you know i can't hear when i drink whiskey"
I mean, "boo" isn't the appropriate response to someone dying...
I was going down on her and she started whistling "Whistle while you work." I'm in love.
UGH FUCK THIS TRAFFIC I WANNA SUCK A DICK
Does being an adult mean drunkenly signing for your tax return from a foreign country? If so, I've reached adulthood.
YO. MCGRIDDLES.
Dear Douchebag, I would just like to formally issue this fuck you. You will be receiving a letter in the mail soon. With all of your stuff.
It’s Sunday Funday! Stop watching football and bring your penis over here. There will be plenty of scoring!
Randomize
