Today I made a list of everyone I have had sex with...there is more than double my age...
Happy graduation...we are now officially unemployed alcoholics!
He's been dancing to the same Rob Thomas album in his room for almost 8 hours now. Please never, ever bring extacy over here again.
Im so excited to get permanently banned for life from all the old bars again, it is gonna be christmas after all
Btw...I puked in my hand last night and threw it on the floor. Don't let me do tequila ever again.
Wait..I think something else did happen last night my vagina is too pleased for this level of hangover..
just because the DWI class is located at the University does not make him a professor. I was duped, he is in no way, shape or form a professor!
They had to stop us from skinny dipping in the reflection pool of the Mormon temple.
He handcuffed himself to the keg... D is hooking up with him anyway.
He's like a unicorn and I just wanna domesticate him
I sent a picture of my balls to one of my best friends, so basically it was an average night.
I woke up to some strange woman rubbing peanut butter on my thighs
I was masterbating to some porn on my phone and my mom decides to text me "are you okay?" I mean i was doing great until you cock blocked me mom..
She abandoned me on the doorstep of her hostel. Turns out you can't bring one night stands into those places. Slept in a train station next to a tramp. He gave me chips. And didn't steal my shit while I slept. So I'm counting this one as a win
I got home and he was wearing a suit. He said he reason was because it was shirt and tie Saturday and that he won't change until midnight. He then proceeded to answer the door in a British accent.
Randomize
