Does getting a boner while watching the celtic women sing opera on ETV make me cultured?
And i laid in the yard with carrots on my chest cause i wanted a bunny
I just puked on my dog.I feel summer coming on
What's the second line of that rhyme that starts "Vicodin before scotch...?"
So how does it feel getting boo'd by the entire 5 guys restaurant
I have a boner and a quesadilla why aren't you here
I chugged vodka from a 15 ft snorkel. What the fuck did you do with your life today?
I wasn't trying to be rude when I hurriedly walked past you, but I can not put in to words exactly how bad I had to shit.
Of course not. I'd be offended if you didn't bring my boobs into casual conversation.
Yea no bueno and I only brought enough weed to last one night. And it was no Hanukah nug, it didn't last 8 days.
FUCK... Pulled a chick from the bar went to her house passed out on the shitter. She lives in a house full of girls. They were making poop jokes as i left
If someone made a breakfast cereal that was a cross between lucky charms and fruity pebbles and called it unicorn power with a huge fucking rainbow and a unicorn standing in a pot of gold on the box, they would be rich. Not only monetarily but spiritually as well...
It's 11:50 on Friday the 13th. There's a full moon. AND the bride to be just puked on herself while getting a lap dance from a stripper named...wait for it....LUCKY. Is this real life?
All time low: no dry towels so I'm using the sex towel to dry off
If I don’t find a quality dick soon I’m going to beg the neighbor for another threesome with her and her husband. It’s like Covid killed all the quality penis Vegas normally has
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