i just funneled a beer through a mask n snorkel.. can you check that off my bucket list..
i'm using my hot pot to make jello shots in a muffin tin. i'm never ever graduating.
protesters in toronto definately have the best pot
Highlight of my weekend: having my card suspended due to "suspicious charges" and standing in line at the gas station yelling at customer service on the phone that I really did go to 4 different strip clubs in one night
im not sure. I kicked him in the ear last night trying to kick a plastic cup off his head to prove I can kick higher than anyone.
Well she just peed in a pot and is now trying to boil it
But you have work tomorrow. And a whore to pick up. And a dinner to eat. And a vagina to slaughter. Your day is full!
I appreciate the concept of vaginal slaughtering.
I remember having the weirdest thoughts and thinking our room was a compass and we were in the compass or something.
Hey my results were negative. Your chlamydia train stops here. Happy hunting!
That's the last time I get in a car with six rappers headed to god knows where.
Look. When I let you cum on my tits don't fuck it all up by going "SKEET SKEET SKEET" it just pisses me off.
Iron Man just asked me back to his place... Not sure I can handle this. Wish me luck.
He said I was really mad at him on Friday. Dude I fell asleep in all my clothes and shoes, with my flashlight on, on my phone... I could have been mad at the wall. It wasn't my classiest day.
I saw a drunk guy run across the street with an American flag between his buttcheeks.
Pro: 2020 made it easier to hook up with strippers
Con: explaining to Kari why there’s always strippers at our house
Pro: there’s always strippers at our house
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