I just ate 3 burrito supremes and a crunchwrap...can't feel feet...I think I have diabetes
Some dude just bet me $8 I couldn't smoke a pack of cigarettes in an hour...It sounds stupid, but I really wanna do it. If I survive, I'll have $8 and it'll look good on my resume.
Peed on my phone. Dried it out in oven. Technology is both a plus and a minus.
Haha. We better find him. He looked like he came out of Switzerland's vagina, he's that much of a blonde beauty.
Life's too short to consider the larger psychological underpinnings of my lust.
He kept buying me shots of tequila. I decided to just save myself the half hour of toilet hugging and tell him straight up that I intended on sleeping with him. We got Tacos on the way home with all the money we saved.
He kept screaming "it's so seductive" while he was humping the wall
This is breast cancer awareness month... The least we can do is give a stripper some singles.
Do you think they make a "sorry in my drunken debauchery I dropped a pumpkin off the balcony and you happened to be standing right there/get well soon" card?
When we were done making out, some guy ran into the room yelling, "I'll save you Brandon! I'll save you!"
it wasnt a pity fuck per say. i wasnt attracted to her, but still thought 'that looks like a fun ride'
Thank you for not boning my boss.
Welp, I can cross "making out with a guy in a dress" off my bucket list...
Vasectomy results are in. No swimmers in the water. REPEAT. No swimmers in the water. Come help me harness my new found super-power
There's even glitter on my cock...
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