just told my mom that i'm having a bad day and she responded with "maybe you should pour yourself a nice drink". good to know that my parents support my future of alcoholism
Come 10 years my vagina won't look like this. I must cherish it
We have to give a final comment in english, i think i might say "i learned it's a bad idea to make out with people in your classes who have girlfriends."
i just added no after every hockey player in my phone..
That place is a DUI and an STD waiting to happen. I think I'll pass.
He told me I was 100% better then porn then passed out nto the cake
Pretty sure I sang "What Makes You Beautiful" to some random guy in a parking lot last night...
You and your vagina are hellbent on selfdestruction and bad decisions
Dude...can we put that on a tshirt? I will totally sport that shit.
I'm texting an actual stripper. A male stripper. I dont wanna talk about it yet
New war strategy! The ex-girlfriend of my ex-girlfriend is now my twice a week booty call!
There's a kid in the back of the class drinking out of a flask. Like what is going on?
NOW HE'S DRINKING OUT OF A HANDLE. WHO IS THIS KID?
I'm highly inebriated watching star wars, this text was sent via the force
So high, just applauded for a magic trick on Hulu.
Where is everybody?
It's pretty much split between the strip club and jail.
she's my really slutty friend i bring around so i can act slutty and not feel as bad about it
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