dats a huuuuuge bitch!
who is this????
I just got stood up by an 18 yr old. fmylife.
grandma shit on top of the toilet
Tell her she's as useless as a condom.
i must have dtf stamped on my forehead
am i the only one who has tried sucking their own cock????
I've got mace and a condom. Ready to roll either way and keeping my pimp hand strong.
That boy needs some memories to take back home with him
My period started right as he was entering, which really helped me sell the "I've never done this before" bit.
He has silky zebra print sheets, which you would think he put on just for me, but the bed was unmade. Did I just sleep with a closet case??
You get 5 min
Your time limits don't scare me, I'll include foreplay and redressing in that 5 min. If you wanted to challenge me you should say you got an hour, id be scared then and more creative.
Man, I meant to go dancing, but accidentally took mushrooms and just threw the frisbee in the park
Surprise ending
who orders an old fashioned in 2014? even my Grandparents think you're an asshole.
I gave him a HANDJOB.
But then he finished from a handjob in under two minutes so who's really laughing?
Basically we had a threesome in one room and a fivesome in the next room. Its what I like to call a win win situation.
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