I wish I had my old roomstes number so I could send him pictures from lastnight... I had a blast banging his "true love" now that I think about it we're even don't worry about that gas bill you didn't pay. Ur girl worked it off!
Next weekend I am getting a library card and staying my whore ass home.
ok, im coming! i just found some lemon square in my bangs, washing that out..this shit is all over me! was i in a pie eating contest?
yes
did i win? did you like my outfit? or should i change, if you were horny would you bang me?
there r dinosaurs outside my house i hear them
pretty sure those are just snow plows....go back to bed
the boy next to me on the plane handed me a shot glass, then a perkaset, and told me to have a good week off..hellllo spring break.
The kids I taught this morning even knew i was drunk. One of them even said, and I quote, "You smell like my dad after he goes bowling."
I have the Everlasting Gobstopper of boners right now. It's kinda like a gift from god, but I don't want to spend anymore time with this girl than I have to.
He blew a .19 and then slurred "well I did have some rum cake earlier today officer".
I almost itched my nose with the lit end of a cigarette. Help.
I remember him going "OH SHIT" when he saw you straddling me on the table. And it was like the best feeling ever.
I woke up to find a bottle of Bacardi in my shower rack. How was your night?
He just texted me a video of him jerking off. He must really be looking forward to the Super Bowl.
Dude, I'm thinking today is Single as Fuck Friday because that's how I'm feeling
We are gonna play a game I like to call what the fuck is in my pocket
Upon further investigation my nipples are bruised and I have teeth marks all over.
Randomize
