Dude, I don't think I'll ever be able to find a girl for me...
Is this the gay conversation?
Definitely got drunk and sent her a literal picture of my asshole. I titled it " you"
I'm picking out a half way decent top so if I get arrested I'll have a respectable mug shot photo. Always be prepared.
I don't care how hot he got, I can't get past the PTSD flashbacks of the first time he fingered me
so i may have indirectly taught my 13 year old campers how to give blowjobs.
you inspire me to be a worse person
I made mike pull over so I could lay in the grass. He made me get up cuz I looked dead and people were passing. It was like 6:30am.
One my way home. There was too much fog, strobe lights, and cocaine for my taste.
I bought 2 40s with winning lottery tickets and they paid me $.03. 'Merica
I love you. We're gonna celebrate your 21st by putting people in duct tape bikinis and pushing them down tequila slip and slides
Are you stuck outside of your house because you forgot to walk up stairs? Cuz I've been there.
No judgement. Sometimes you gotta twerk on a legends face.
A fair warning: I don't think a cop will let you off the hook just because your birthday is on New Year's Eve
He called me khaleesi while I rode his dick. He wins
Let's just say that I took off my pants and I had superman boxers on. Then she took off her pants and she had batman panties on. I think she's the one!
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