Kay wants to put chicklets in our cooters to make beavers and take pix captioned Got Wood? Taking public transit does scary things to her.
No offense but you kinda look like a Jack Johnson fan in that pic
I fed him jelly beans while he fingered me. Win, win situation.
I just want dates and sex but the option to have that with whoever whenever I want
I saw a kid peeing outback so I yelled "you have a small pecker, but its ok cuz when life gives you lemons..." and proceeded to throw lemons at him
We need a bunch of roses, some chocolate, 2 cops, a mariachi band, and a thermometer
i know. like I have the nerve to talk about poverty. I eat peanut butter out of the jar.
You ran down the alley towards a stranger screaming "you took my beer".... Then proceeded to run into a garage, fall down, and scream about how your shirt makes you look fat.
So just what does one wear when attending a sex toy party with ones mother-in-law?
Jeans and a nice top.
I guess that means I was blowing a nerd last week.
And loving it.
Showed up 15 minutes late and curtsied when I entered the door if that puts perspective to how my first day is going
I wish you could see all the crumbs in my bra....it looks like Hansel & Gretel got lost in my cleavage.
So apparently, after 11 beers, 2 pitchers of sangria and 3 rhum & cokes, the idea of popping a load of MD and jumping on the trampoline, in the woods, in my underwear was the best one ever.
you asked if you could borrow my vagina for the night
Granted, I did not plan to spend ANY hour of the last day of 2020 sober.
Randomize
