I lost my shoes and bra and was beyond mapquesting
Mars, I'm going to name my child horatio mars. He will hate me till he gets high. Then he'll understand
she said "feliz nobby job" then proceeded to give me a blowjob.
What. The. Fuck. No, you will not spank me.
That wasn't intended for you, my bad.
I'm at the grocery store buying monistat and corn nuts. thank god for self check out.
Ohhh, TODAY your worried. Becasue last weekend when we warned you about her you said "shes too hot to have herpes."
Experimentation with dessert toppings followed by shower sex. Only logical progression bro.
It's not meant to be. I also just shot a turkey baster of gin into Nate's eye, so....
I'm going to practice throwing things up the the air and catching them between my boobs, because that seems like a cool party trick.
We had a pillow fight. It looks like an angel exploded here. A DRUNK ALCOHOLIC ANGEL
well, at the moment I'm sleeping in someone's closet in a buzzlightyear snuggie, so I can't judge,
last night we were hooking up when all the sudden he just murmured "mm blonde". i don't know what to think about this situation.
Sex to movie scores is my best choice of the year. You've had an orgasm but have you had an orgasm with an entire orchestra.
I'm covered in glow paint and shame. I'm never leaving this country
To celebrate the holidays this evening, I will be replying “FUCK YOU” to all my spam emails. Can’t tell you how excited I am
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