i've decided that sluttiness is like a disease, it can lay dormant in you for years and then one day you go to college and with all the booze and drugs and boys and time on your hands symptoms begin to show then one day BAM you're a huge slut. it's like how izzie had skin cancer and it grew into brain cancer.
i want to open my blinds to let the sunlight in my room, but i'm afraid my neighbors will be able to see me drinking and judge me
Is it bad that Pitbull has taught me more Spanish than high school did?
He told me he had more lines than a plaid shirt
then they high fived as they party boyed me. I was a policewoman sandwhich. I love you halloween.
my one-armed grandma is doing the YMCA. you figure it out.
there is no 'pace myself' on the blackout express
I found the perfect eye liner, it passed the blow job test, no smudging!!
I can't find the keys to get out of my front door, there are random socks in my bicycle basket and I can see a plastic handle of cheap vodka sitting on my porch. oh, and my head just broke u with me.
Just watched a deer get gangbanged in my front yard by 5 bucks. Wtf animal kingdom
I got to explain to the guys at work today how i had no choice but to go to a gay bar because I was handcuffed to a lesbian.
TACOBELL COOL RANCH TACOS MARCH 7TH. I think realistically that will be more like valentines day for us. Bc nothing says romance like tacobell.
For once I am not in the mood. My vagina is good with life at the moment.
The apocalypse has arrived.
Well then she has to know whoever you were kissing was in overalls because that's not a detail you just leave out.
Well supposedly when the cops came, they say I tried to get them in a conga line like Jim Carrey in The Mask. So....yea
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