okay pat passed out under dana's car
So someone put the baby mannequins in sex positions
apparently 9 shots of absynthe does not take away your skill to walk. i just woke up under a tree in some field on the other side of town with 4 hours missing.
And we hooked up in the carwash. I told you our creative juices were flowing today.
i found a twelve pack under my bed. and a six pack in my closet. I'm like a fucking alcoholic squirrel.
BEER BONG IN THE STOCKROOM COME IN TO WORK TODAY
besides i was ending his dry spell. it's written in the bible that jesus likes that right?
Who the fuck was that guy he kept pulling his dick out walking up to people trying to hand it to people and saying go ahead open the door like it was a door knob
Still want to know how you got back last night? Two Campus Security Officers carried you in around 430. Your pants were around your ankles.
I hate Sailor Jerry.
Hey man, sorry about punching you in the face, also about turning the shower on you. I just really wanted you to drink some water.
smoked some of that legal weed last night, felt like God himself legit bent me over his knee and spanked my ass. Never again..never.
I HAVE to find her. I've got a pretty decent pic of her footprint on my headboard. Wonder if I can get one of the podiatry majors to help?
HOW THE FUCK IS IT POSSIBLE THAT THE JUNIOR HIGH STUDENT IS BETTER AT BEING AN ADULT THAN I AM!?!?
I was informed this morning that I took all my clothes off and ran around the whole apartment complex. Being as they just moved in, welcome to the neighborhood.
DO NOT PREHEAT THE OVEN THIS MORNING! WE STARTED USING IT AS A WINE STASH AROUND MIDNIGHT.
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