I just caught myself dancing like an old lady in the shower. Have I reached the age where booty dancing stops and swaying of the upper body begins?
he's legally blind and likes the sound of my voice, good enough for me.
He thinks MY vagina is tight. That's saying something.
she went apple picking. why dont we do cute things like that? let's go to a pumpkin patch!
because we're not cute. we're sluts. and sluts don't go apple picking.
I'm pretty sure this is how polyamorous relationships begin.
how did we start talking about space blow jobs?
Yeah.. I'm sorry I broke your phone. But in my defense you handed me the frying pan.
How do you respond to a booty call from yesterday?
Fuck I am so excited for the first time I can make someone call me Doctor Nikki during sex after I finish my PhD
Just got a handjob from a 19 year old in front of the Parthenon. The Greek god of debauchery would be proud.
He's the stereotypical redneck. He tried to go kayaking during a storm and almost got into a fight when a park ranger tried to stop him
Some rando guy literally just put my shoes on and tied them for me because I'm drunk... Is this what it feels like to be a princess?
I got a lap dance last night from a girl while I was wearing a Captian America onsie. My life does not suck.
You have a penis. Therefore everything you say is automatically wrong.
It was like Strip poker and blow, but with Yu-Gi-Oh cards
Randomize