I wish I could teleport
i wish we had vans that drove around at night but insteand of ice cream and jolly tunes its taco bell and the macarena
I wonder what it would be like to masturbate in space
IM INA KID IN KING ATURHTS CUNT!
A Kid In King Arthur's Court? Like the movie?
CUNT. CUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUNT
Your dad needs a mid life crisis affair thing, I could totally be that girl.
Apparently I covered myself in sunscreen before I went to bed. Im just assuming that due to the fact I found an empty bottle of sunblock
Dude she pregamed for her sorority's philanthropy.
She's the one that asked you what my favorite color was & handed you a piece of bacon
She was the shot vending machine at the party. But free.
It was darkish out, I was shit faced, and they should have marked the electric fence a little more clearly. The entire wedding reception saw me run full force into it
He told me he wanted a penis beard so that he could look at girls faces when they gave him blowjobs. i have to say, i kind of admire his creativity
All I want is to get as high as I did that time I started hallucinating that my brother was becoming a monkey and I saw my mum on every surface of your room.
Honestly I don't even have room for feelings after that Taco Bell
The first thing he said was that my underwear smelled like Trix but then he looked up at me and whispered "Silly rabbit, vagina is for me."
I didn't know it was possible and I don't know if I'll ever be able to do it again on my own but he literally fuck me sideways.
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