4 words: hood of his car
We video chatted for almost two hours. But I woke up with puke on my keyboard. The question of the day: were we still chatting when I vommed? No idea.
And we will make penis cookies and eat them suggestively
Does it really count as two different guys if they're brothers? I like to think of it as one and a half.
She refers to my dick as princess Sarah... oddly I'm okay with that.
God you better not be texting me after just having sex with someone from craigslist
I cant talk about it right now or let you guess, but its something you and i would do. Kinda like that time we had the case of beer and went bowling
You hooked up with minors in a golf cart?
think they'd let him outta jail for my wedding? we could have him back by like midnight....
Im at that shitty point in my day where I start planning night activities while finger dipping vyvance off of my desk, you got any plans?
k. The important thing is we are going out. You are stones. I am mildly hallucenating.
I knew you were super hungover. But so hungover you fire our house cleaner because her vacuums too loud is excessive
I think someone tried to make a huge bowl of ramen in my bathtub. There's noodles everywhere in my bathroom.
I'm tryna think of an appropriate time to say "when I suck other dicks they seem like training dicks compared to yours" but I really can't think of a good way to say that
Give me a few. Gonna ride the rollercoaster.
well...I was at work...until someone dropped dead during their performance of "I believe I can fly". It was karaoke night.
Randomize
