His moose knuckle keeps winkin at me
I went down on her for at least a half hour, She loved it, so I thought she'd recip. She said "I only do that if I know I'm getting something out of it."
SHUT IT DOWN.
I just put on my hot pinky lace thong... you know what that means! ;)
Oh god. Slutty you is on the run. Someone needs to alert the city.
Changed my sheets. Found a can of rockstar, crushed bag of tostitos, used tissues, and enough of both of our clothes to make a whole outfit.
You know you're hung over when your pose in art class is lying face down on the platform
Is all white too much for court to prove my innocents?
he just asked if we wanted to go to an arts and crats club with him tomorrow. every day it becomes harder for me to defend his sexuality
I stole so many things from the ER last night.
I feel like I ran a fucking marathon on my knees last night and there are bruises to prove it.
if i got ashes i think they'd burn a hole into my head with the amount of sins i've committed this year alone and it's only february
You did that scary laugh you always do when you're blacking out except she's never heard it before and though you were choking and screamed at all of us when we didn't call an ambulance
Two things: Why did I wake up in a pool of blood? And am I still invited to the wedding?
No idea. And yes be here at 4
There's no button for "gave my boyfriend's cock to a friend" on my intimacy calendar.
I can't believe just smoked out of a pear
I can't believe you had a pear already made to smoke out of, that was impressive
She made kool-aid with tequila instead of water and rolled a blunt about the size of an Oscar Mayer hot dog. Best blind date I've ever had. I think I will love her tell my dieing day!
Randomize
