If i have to listen to his problems about his girlfriend, he should at least let me suck his cock.
Someone shat in the 1st floor west girls hall. Literally SHAT in the hallway
That's what she gets for taking his peeps.
we just drove by a car that was painted for a grad, it said "you done it!" with a confederate flag bumper sticker next to it. i love kentucky
he came up my nose again i swear he does this just to piss me off
For some reason I just don't think you going to the gay bar alone on thanksgiving is a good idea.
Well you are. Awfully cute even. Like baby bunnies. And tiny, tiny penises. You know.
You were sad because he was "taking it out on the plant"
I thought I walked in on an orgy of smurfs. Man I love shrooms
Say what you want, but those Fraggle Rock DVDs have gotten me laid twice.
Its great. Every time she starts barking i know ive got approximately 37 seconds to hide my gf in the closet and throw some clothes on
I think being an adult is being able to say no to free shots...I need to work on that.
My dog just threw up a condom. Sorry for accusing you of not wearing one, I found it now.
It's time for everyone's favorite Wednesday night game... WHEEL OF. VODKA!!!!!
It's an open bar. I'm gonna be gone when you get here.
Text me the address now before you're too drunk to text English.
Is it weird I can only picture you in my heels naked?
Be proud; I'm a versatile boyfriend
Randomize
