yeah, we don't understand. the wings losing for guys is like girls finding objects in their body..just weird and sad
So My parents cut me off after I started making blood marys with hienz ketchup
I've never been 12-exclamation-point-excited for sex. That must have been good.
The only person who has seen my penis more than that girl, is that girl's sister.
Yo I'm texting you while getting a bj. I know, I'm the man. Told her I was texting my mom in the hospital.
Good thing I was dressed to impress in my "I went nuclear on my wings" shirt even the girls are making out and I'm still 7th wheeling it...
Like if Robert Downey Jr. and Kiefer Sutherland got together for a bender, that's how drunk I want us to be.
who put toothpaste on EVERY doorknob in my house?!
its sad that I know 23 beers will fit into my purse
I may or may not have traded sexual favors for Disney on Ice tickets.
Did you just say he wants to put a baby inside me?
Nice just gets you lonely or dead. I don't like those options.
He thought you were kidding about me peeing on my ex...and then I was like "that was one time"
I don't want to be "that guy" but I may have accidentally sent a dick pic to your mom
Dog. I woke up between my ex boyfriend witch i'm currently fucking and his bestfriend spooning me in MY bestfriends empty powerless house still really fucked up. No one knows what happend.
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