Honestly I wish you never came into my life. I know I don't want you. But I keep trying to get you back bc of the memories
I don't see you I see the memories. All the time
Did you fuck her?
If by "fuck her" you mean "threw up on her shoes," then yes, I achieved that.
just found out my sister was breast fed and i was not...pretty upset about that.
distance makes the heart seek blowjobs from girls that are closer i heard.
I tried to explain to him that we just wanted a stereotypical black friend to be in our group. He didn't take it too well... Never take me to the bar again.
I couldn't open my car door and for a second I thought they were taking me to an intervention circle.
I don't think the car's salesman understands that I am about to vomit on him.
Recycling day makes me feel more like an alcoholic than regular days.
The trees feel like magic. Come fly to taco bell with me.
He pulled the pencil out of my leg and then we fucked. It felt sorta like pulp fiction in reverse.
You raged at the rock climbing place for not selling beer and then just said "fuck it" and pulled out a flask.
LESSON OF THE DAY: Saying Everclear gets you out of explaining anything.
Aaaaand my mom is wearing jeggings...
SCOTCH AND CIGARS AT THE TITTY BAR. YOU ARE COMING WITH US.
The exact people you expect to find at a bar at 2pm are here. Come visit. We'd really like the company.
Randomize
