this other lifeguard and I are actually considering paying a kid to shit in the pool
is it bad if I use the term bowl as a measurement of time, as in how long it takes to smoke a bowl?
Just crossed the line with my beat friends girl twinsie. Didn't realize tillz afta how much the look alike and an thougholy creeped out. Thanks ciroc
woke up in a freezing tub of water at 6 am again. probably should stop the drunk baths
I just shot gunned a beer for your birthday alone because you're too hungover at midnight to get out of bed. I'm not sure which of us is the bigger loser
Wait time out. Did I start last night with pants?
Wow thanks 4 throwing jello at me an yelling who invited that guy to all the guys at the bar
When you awake you'll realize that your car is missing....just know that I had it and becuz of your car I hooked up with the hot bar tender that looks like that guy from bay-watch however I parked it in a loading zone and it was towed...that sex was TOTALLY worth it love you
How do I go about messaging a girl on a dating site whose little sister I've had a three some with...?
We were high as balls fucking in the back seat when we saw the blue lights. He's like, "I got this" and walked over butt ass naked and goes, "Sorry dude, we're just banging" and the cop apologized for disturbing us and drove off.
I think I may have just taught my whole hall how to give a good blow job. So this is college.
I'M GOING TO FUCK AN ENTIRE ORCHESTRA AND NOTHING CAN STOP ME
The band club does not count as an orchestra
Well I just took a pregnancy test... So how's your thanksgiving?
he just got here with a handle of tequila and box of condoms. looks like i'll be spending the weekend in bed
I need your help immediately! I sorta kinda sliced my foot off at the ankle with my new kitana. Bring your cooler, ice and some hospital road beers.
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