Pride was great cause we really can now appreciate how far we've come as gay people!
Doll, if you're still fucking strangers behind the WeHo Sonic while high on E then we've come as far as 2003...
I basically have a picture with a half naked foreign exchange student. He kept screaming rolltide and i felt like a traitor
hungover waitressing a bar association event. im being judged by actual judges.
She just tried to talk over a fart. The fart was way longer than the sentence she originally wanted to say so she just added gibberish to the end. Gross
And they were awkwardly all over each other in a Christian way.
He played pinball with my ovaries. He won.
I didnt realize how badly my legs were scratched up from power-fucking him in the bushes until kate dumped a bottle of vodka on me. that shit burnedddd
Your heart is a swirling cauldron of blackness that does not pump blood but rather a sludgey mixture of evil and broken dreams.
I did something similar high once. I stopped like 30 feet in front of a stop sign because I felt like it was running towards me and I started crying. Got out my car and hugged it and told it not to run away people need it.
I feel bad for his balls. Ive never seen so much sperm. He had to be dying
This morning I found four opened yet full beers on my desk and my towel rack pulled off the wall and in bed with me
I'm sorry I told you to go fuck yourself after you said good morning to me when I was hungover.
I threw up in my backpack last night, but at least it wasn't in the pizza box again
I was floored. Like way less concerned with him using drugs than I am with him not believing in evolution.
If I don’t find a quality dick soon I’m going to beg the neighbor for another threesome with her and her husband. It’s like Covid killed all the quality penis Vegas normally has
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